The Man Effect

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Grit

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?

"I would use the word grit, and I don't mean anything dirty or uncouth. I like the word grit for that concept of that fire which drives you to get up and do what needs to be done. Whether you get knocked down, whether you fall down, that thing that causes you to choose what's right over what's easy  or causes you to pursue what's good rather than what's expedient or to seek truth instead of just entertainment I know we have prettier words for that concept, but that concept requires a level of self-sacrifice, and sacrifice is almost never pretty. It can be beautiful, rarely pretty. "

Word: Grit
Occupation: Engineer
Age: 37
From: Olathe, Kansas

Who is the manliest person you know and why?

"I would say a man by the name of Ronnie Collin. He was an older South African gentleman that I had the privilege of calling my close friend for a number of years. You talk about a guy who has been through a ton of life, who has fought through a number of things, who has spine of steel, just a phenomenal work ethic, and lived a life of commitment and yet he was (and I saw was because he, unfortunately, passed away a few years ago) one of the most joyful and most compassionate and brightest spirits I have ever known. And yet he was still unquestionably manly and gritty and determined, and I learned a lot from him."

When was a moment that you felt most masculine?

"I will tell you one moment, but know this, they all revolve around my kids and being imminently proud of my kids and seeing them become who they are becoming. If I wanted to target one moment even though it was years ago, it was probably the birth of my first born whose a boy. Just all of those feelings, of number one, being proud, number two, oh my gosh I'm a father and then just going this is my son... I made this... I am responsible for this, and my job is to teach him to be a man. Not that I knew what I was doing but that was one of the points where I felt most masculine because I felt I am gonna do this, I'm not running from this I am not hiding from this. I'm not saying I'm fully equipped for this yet but I am gonna be, and I am going to teach him to be a better man than I am."

What advice would you give your younger self about masculinity? 

"Okay, so the first thing that came to mind uh was Jack Andy 'You're smart enough, you're good enough, and gosh darn it people like you.' and as goofy as that SNL skit was there is a nugget of truth to that. No matter who you are, what you are, if you are you, you are good enough......"

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