The desire to belong and be accepted is an attribute of my life that has always existed. I’ve wanted my older siblings to recognize me as a peer, I’ve wanted my boss to hear my opinion on areas I feel I have valuable input to give, and I’ve wanted society to pick me out from the masses and tell me I am special. I just want to be chosen. I have this innate desire to stick out as an honest, valuable man and have a significant purpose which leaves a positive legacy throughout the generations. 

My wish to be chosen and affirmed seems to be an inner core motivation in my life. I am unsure at this moment if it is a negative or positive attribute. What spawned this whole topic for me was this, I recently have started to watch parts of the 2016 Americas Got Talent auditions. In this show, people stand before the selected judges and audience and perform their talent with everything they have. They stand on that stage waiting to be judged and told if they are unique enough to move onto the next round and continue to fight for their dream of a million dollar prize. Something new that they introduced in the past couple seasons is a golden button that each judge can push once. What happens if they do this the talent that is on the stage instantly goes through to a semi-final round rather than having to go through the arduous process of second round tryouts and whatnot. Here is a video clip that made me tear up while watching.

Every time that golden button is pushed the participant is immensely validated by that judge. Think of the odds of it happening for a contestant. It is slimmer than a piece of paper. When I watched this happen jealousy, rose up within me on some levels. I just wanted that glorious moment to happen to me! I want a golden button moment where society, my parents, God, or something above my social class just reaches out has the authority to tell me I am special and then helps equip and direct me for arduous the path ahead of me.

I want to be fathered, coached, and led through the hard things of life. I fear though as a young man that is something only books, determination, and making mistakes can teach me. This desire makes me think of all the people who want to win the lottery. How they are relying on fate to choose a better destiny for them, hoping and longing for a little statistic to pick them out of the millions of other people. It seems my desire to be chosen out of the crowd similar? Instead of waiting for millions of dollars to be handed to me I should probably go out and work my ass off. Similarly so, instead of waiting for a mentor, I should probably read some books and seek advice from other people. Maybe read a self-help book or something.

I just find this desire I have to be unique and worth someone going out of their way to tell me I am special. Do you ever feel like this? I am curious is if this is a normal thing.

Cheers,

Timothy