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The Man Effect

What does it mean to be a man?

  • Photos
    • Photo Blog
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    • 2015 Archives
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  • Blog
    • The Journey(Blog)
    • Blog Archives
  • Videos
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Understanding

 

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?

"I would choose the word understanding... I pick that because with being a man it seems like so many men are flipping it how i think it should be. Is that their seeking to be understood and then to understand, when its far more relatable and far more productive just being with other people to seek to understand first and then to be understood...

When you sit back and listen for a little bit you can hear some ideas you never thought of. This might change your whole outlook or you will start hearing a lot of stuff and be able to pick up on bullshit better." 

Word: Understanding
Occupation: Photojournalist
Age: 22
From: Kansas City, Missouri

Young man leaning against a wall of graffiti.

Who is the manliest person you know and why?

"It is really hard for me to pick one...

I might have to say that back in the day at summer camp there was a group of three counselors that I look back on. They were really solid and in tandem together really gave a good example to us. At the time I was like 16 or 17 and you know that is a tumultuous time for any guy growing up and just kinda having those guys for two weeks out of the summer, you got to see really solid stuff come out of them."

What do you think healthy masculinity looks like? 

"I guess I could answer that in I guess in describing in contrast to stuff that we are seeing today. Like we got some legacy celebrity and politicians and stuff getting knocked down from their unchecked masculinity for so long. So we are starting to see now what a lot of unhealthy masculinity looks like. On like an extreme side..."

What advice would you give your younger self about masculinity?

"I would tell myself that I cant find what masculinity is outside of myself. I gotta find it inside myself to establish who I am centered. And then bring that out into the world. Not take things from outside and try to make that what I am on the inside." 

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tags: Understanding, Man, Masculine
Sunday 12.31.17
Posted by Timothy Wenger
 

Understanding

 

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word what would it be and why?

"Probably understanding. Just to be understanding of other peoples feelings, You know I have been married now for eight years. You have to be put other people's emotions before your own sometimes or pick up on, you know when my wife is having a bad day or when my kid is feeling upset, anxious, or tired because he's two.

Also to have an open mind and be learning. Just in my experience, I don't know I grew up a little more closed minded at times.  And the older I've gotten, and the more I've learned and had interactions with people that think, believe, and do things differently than me, the more rich my life experiences have become. And like talking to people that I disagree with it's perfect, you learn so much more about yourself and so much more about the world at large. It's something I wish I would have done sooner. I grew up fairly conservative Christian. That influenced allot of my life as far as being closed minded to these people or those people or whatever because of what I was taught or what I was brought up near. I think that always be learning and understanding. That's not just being a man, that's being mankind or humankind. If you are always thinking and always learning, I think it's probably a good thing; that's the point of being alive.  Enjoy a new experience or learn something you never knew. " 

Word: Understanding
Occupation: Home Inspector
Age: 31
From: Kansas City, Missouri

Would you describe yourself as an emotional man? If so would you like that to change?

"Yea I am an emotional man. I have been since I was a little kid. I was very sensitive growing up and no I don't think I would change it. There are times that maybe I wish I would have because as a young kid growing up I got picked on. Ah I guess everybody got picked on... but you know I took it to heart allot and I let my emotions kinda guide me and rule my life and I'll be candid I have been going to therapy for some emotional things and there are other things I would rather not talk about, but I am happy with being an emotional man.  I don't see it as a fault of character.

I want to be able to empathize with people at an emotional level and I want to be in touch with my emotions so I can do that.  I think being an emotional male isn't a negative stereotype or anything like that. I am friends with men who are closed off to their emotions and a lot of times it leads to horrible things like drugs, alcohol, and suicidal things or suicide. I mean you can go to dark places if you're not at least trying to communicate with your emotions and if you need help to do that by all means do. 

My advice to other men is if you feel terrible or something or you feel like your emotions are eating you up man, talk to somebody about it seriously.  That's the other thing there is a stigma about therapy and it is embarrassing to talk about I don't want to tell people I am in therapy. I am trying to be more open about it though because it can change people's mind."

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Sunday 07.31.16
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Understanding

 

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?

This man while writing his word realized it wasn't going to fit.  He proceeded to finish the word without all the letters.  Can you be understanding? He also chose not to give an explanation. 

Word: Understanding
Occupation: Undisclosed
Age: 42
From: Kansas City, MO

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I honestly feel a bit like an old grumpy man writing this, even though I am in my early thirties it has become extremely apparent to me that there is this mystical belief ingrained in western societies that everything we desire should be handed to us on a silver platter and when things don’t work out exactly how we want, then the best resort is to become a victim and not look deeply into the fact that our lives literally mean nothing to this world and we are entitled nothing.

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This is and has been a fascinating month for me personally and one I will look back upon in the future with a smile and a warm heart.

You see, for years I have worked on, spent countless hours, had endless conversations, and wondered why I continue devoting myself to The Man Effect. In this pursuit I have desired to encourage others, find answers for myself, and just be a man who is passionate about life.

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12 Questions And Answers About Living Through Hard Times

During these very unique times of life, hardship for many humans is being created due to the pandemic. I felt it would be an appropriate time to ask for the wisdom of men whom I respect to answer questions around how to handle hardship and difficult times.

The way it is formatted is I will introduce each man who has answered the questions and you will also see ways to find out more about them as well.

I hope you find encouragement, wisdom, and hope in the answers written to these questions.

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The Start

What is masculinity? This question is a core reason why I started this blog and photography project here at The Man Effect. I have been pursuing and exploring this question for years. I love it and the ramifications on my life it has had.

Masculinity, manliness, and the nature of men are not only something that I believe every human should take the time to ponder on. As humans, it is also something we should conceptualize and analyze the belief of how men exist and represent themselves in immediate and extended communities.

Moving forward, I think it would be appropriate to build some foundation of a definition before we proceed with the importance and impact this question can and does have on our lives if we are open to going down this path.

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Questioning what it means to be a man is something that I would consider to be a foundation to this website. So, in honor of that, I decided to compile 15 questions about masculinity that I have seen and heard asked often.

Now, before we jump into these questions, I would like to explain how the answers were created. I chose to ask four men who I respect to take time and share their wisdom. The next thing I will do is introduce them so you know a bit about the men behind these words.

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I am writing this article for two predominant reasons. One, so I can have a tangible point of reference when I reflect upon this season of life I have been through. Two, the possibility that the lessons I have learned may inspire one person to not give up on life as struggles confront them.

“Believe in yourself, take on your challenges, dig deep within yourself to conquer fears. Never let anyone bring you down. You got to keep going. “ ~ Chantal Sutherland

 
tags: Understanding, Man, Masculine
Friday 04.03.15
Posted by Timothy Wenger