I cannot count the number of times I have woken up wondering if I was in an alternate reality? I arose from a deep stupor the other day feeling like I was living out the very thing I had watched in my favorite comedic shows and began to wonder how I had ended up in such a surreal state. It became apparent to me that struggling to find my identity, seeking a significant other, and fumbling through my professional life were all similar symptoms to the classic sitcoms I had spent hours absorbing. Having an ex-contact me and want to get back together along with just recently dating someone who ghosted did not help this television like feeling.

There I was laying in my bed wide awake at 7am struggling to find the motivation to move my body to get ready for another day of monotonous work, conflicted with the struggle of who to choose to be in a relationship with, let alone find someone who is even interesting, and why not add in the classic seeking happiness in life. All of these things are so prolonged and drawn out that any sitcom would be at its 200th episode before ever starting to resolve, that is if it was based off my life and yet there I was waiting in childlike anticipation for a resolution to the discord in my life. The soberness of this realization could not be accompanied with anything else other than a sarcastic laugh which was followed by a longing to know what to do with such a seemingly ironic epiphany.

How does a man come to terms with his life? To have the patience for a resolution to be brought to the disruption plaguing one’s journey. I personally have wrestled with my existence for a long time. I read a classic Christian book awhile back called “A million miles in a thousand years” by Donald Miller. In this simple literature, I found myself being inspired to take new levels of control in my life which I felt were left up to destiny. Miller talks about his process of taking a previous book he wrote from text to movie. The arduous process that he laid out was fascinating and surprisingly applicable to my own life. What I remember most was feeling so encouraged to start taking steps to making my life what I want it to be. This might seem simple but at the time it was huge. I had been fighting for years with the mentality that the author of my script(life) was in charge and I just needed to go with the flow. Gladly that has been slowly changing. I am starting to believe that I need to start developing creative control of the character I have been assigned. I am going to be the start working towards what I want to be rather than passively letting my life unravel before me.

I guess the purpose of this article is this. Even though my life is surprisingly similar to the sitcoms I have watched a million episodes of, I am still on some levels in control and most definitely responsible for my life. I want to continue on the journey of being fascinated by the time I get to spend on this earth and building an epic volume of small and large adventures. I find that if I cannot embrace the irony of life and work through the painfully awkward moments I will not be able to have a deep appreciation for my existence. This is most definitely still a process for me and I doubt I will perfect the process of embracing my life to the fullest but, at the end of the day I am trying. This for me is what is important.

How do you come to terms with your life? Do you have any wisdom to share? I would love to read what you have to say! Just share it in the comments!

Cheers,

Timothy

Featured Articles

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4 Common Relationship Issues and How to Address Them

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I honestly feel a bit like an old grumpy man writing this, even though I am in my early thirties it has become extremely apparent to me that there is this mystical belief ingrained in western societies that everything we desire should be handed to us on a silver platter and when things don’t work out exactly how we want, then the best resort is to become a victim and not look deeply into the fact that our lives literally mean nothing to this world and we are entitled nothing.

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Men should manage their time better and here are 3 reasons why.

As much as it may seem out of the traditional scope of what being a man is, there is nothing I find more valuable than being neat and tidy about my time. Personally and professionally, I attribute nearly all of my abilities to show up as a man to my discipline within my calendar. And so, this is why I wanted to share with you that us men should always strive to manage our time better, and why.

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Is Masculinity Part of Male Identity?

If you were to ask a couple of men to give you their own definition of masculinity, what are the odds that you’ll end up with the same answer? You’re guessing right: a good, round zero. Neither you nor anyone else will ever be taught at school, or in a manual, what masculinity precisely means, and that is for a good reason. Because we can be a man in so many different ways, each one of us has to come up with his own definition, see if it holds any value, and these types of variables are exactly what started me on my journey.

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Thoughts and reflections upon the topic of perseverance.

This is and has been a fascinating month for me personally and one I will look back upon in the future with a smile and a warm heart.

You see, for years I have worked on, spent countless hours, had endless conversations, and wondered why I continue devoting myself to The Man Effect. In this pursuit I have desired to encourage others, find answers for myself, and just be a man who is passionate about life.

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12 Questions And Answers About Living Through Hard Times

During these very unique times of life, hardship for many humans is being created due to the pandemic. I felt it would be an appropriate time to ask for the wisdom of men whom I respect to answer questions around how to handle hardship and difficult times.

The way it is formatted is I will introduce each man who has answered the questions and you will also see ways to find out more about them as well.

I hope you find encouragement, wisdom, and hope in the answers written to these questions.

Thoughts and discussion around self-forgiveness.

Have you ever asked yourself, “How do I forgive myself?” It is a difficult and amazing question all at the same time. Recently, after one of the darkest years of my life, I have started to ask myself this question a lot and I am amazed by the amount of impact it has had on me.

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What is masculinity? That's a question every man should be asking himself.

The Start

What is masculinity? This question is a core reason why I started this blog and photography project here at The Man Effect. I have been pursuing and exploring this question for years. I love it and the ramifications on my life it has had.

Masculinity, manliness, and the nature of men are not only something that I believe every human should take the time to ponder on. As humans, it is also something we should conceptualize and analyze the belief of how men exist and represent themselves in immediate and extended communities.

Moving forward, I think it would be appropriate to build some foundation of a definition before we proceed with the importance and impact this question can and does have on our lives if we are open to going down this path.

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15 Questions and Answers About Masculinity

Questioning what it means to be a man is something that I would consider to be a foundation to this website. So, in honor of that, I decided to compile 15 questions about masculinity that I have seen and heard asked often.

Now, before we jump into these questions, I would like to explain how the answers were created. I chose to ask four men who I respect to take time and share their wisdom. The next thing I will do is introduce them so you know a bit about the men behind these words.

Lessons I've learned from a traumatic brain injury and why discomfort in life is so important.

I am writing this article for two predominant reasons. One, so I can have a tangible point of reference when I reflect upon this season of life I have been through. Two, the possibility that the lessons I have learned may inspire one person to not give up on life as struggles confront them.

“Believe in yourself, take on your challenges, dig deep within yourself to conquer fears. Never let anyone bring you down. You got to keep going. “ ~ Chantal Sutherland