I am a man who loves to dream. I have ventured through the thoughts of being a cowboy, a butler, and just floating in outer space for that matter. Thinking about all the places I want to go in life has been the heartbeat of what keeps me motivated as I drudge through the repetitive moments of dullness in my daily grind.

As the years unravel, though, I have realized I struggle with the fact that I dream more than I actually do. The amount of time I have spent in a milieu that does not yet exist is large. Perhaps dreaming seems more comfortable and safe than actually taking the painfully fun journey to the end goal in mind. I have observed myself, as well as close friends, being held up for years thinking we are inadequate or don’t know enough about the desired goal to even start. I wonder if it has to do with how we were taught as children. It seems to be inadvertently taught that you cannot start something until you know everything about the subject. I could be wrong, although, it does seem ingrained throughout society that you can’t get a real job until you go to college and learn all about your area of expertise.

This comes across a bit ironic to me as the knowledge base that this system relies upon to teach you was forged through the painful process of many people not having a complete understanding and taking the time to press through the unknown and uncomfortable, humble themselves, and let the process teach them what they desired to learn. Don’t get me wrong, I do truly appreciate education, but I believe education is in the process that never stops. Once I personally got over the fear that I had not been educated enough I started to believe in myself more.

Man standing on a cliffs edge overlooking a canyon and river.

As the journey of life has unraveled I have noticed myself more and more desiring the tangibility of action. A great personal example of mine is writing blogs. It may surprise you but this is a huge stretch for me. I am an electrician by profession currently. I work with my hands. Yet, here I am pushing through the discomfort of uncertainty to develop an idea in the form of a blog. I sometimes think that pride is the biggest thing holding me, and men at large, from pursuing the end goal. I cannot count the number of times I have heard men say they do not want to do something because they are no good at it. How many times do we simply disengage ourselves from something that we would otherwise love and learn a great deal from? All in the name of pride, we stay complacent, emotionally dull, and in our comfort zone rather than becoming well-rounded men who are going somewhere in life.

In my own life, the hardest part about learning anything new is this: the first step. That initial movement, “the leap”. Have you ever jumped off a cliff into a large body of water? I know, cheesy analogy, but it holds true in this scenario. Those moments before I’ve hit the water, I am floating through the air in euphoria. Fear is running rampant within my being. I am raging against myself from the moment I perpetuate enough momentum to go beyond the point of no return soaring through the air to the second I sink into the depths of the water below immersed with ecstasy. The latter always outweighs the tension of the former, yet the former can be undeniably powerful if we let it overtake us. That all being said, it makes me wonder what our lives would look life if the dreamers only dreamed, if the leaders only thought instead of choosing to lead and if the inventors stopped short with just a few sketches. What would life look like if humanity had been plagued with people who were unable to overcome their pride and take on new areas of life?

I am consumed with thoughts about how my life would be drastically different if past generations never started anywhere. For goodness sake look at Leonardo Da Vinci. That man alone invented the foundation of practically a gazillion things that we still use today. I want the essence of the men of old to continue on at an exponential level, not confined to the life of a few men but rather a movement of all men who are willing to chase something beyond the edge of the cliff. Let’s be the world that is going somewhere. Join me in getting beyond the comfort zone and making “the leap”. You can’t get anywhere without starting somewhere. Make those first few steps to jump off the cliff. Ask someone for help. Look up a YouTube tutorial on how to build a desk. Just try it, allow yourself to fail, and learn from your mistakes. The fear of failure is inevitable. Come along side me in overcoming fear. I personally commit to not giving up. I want my life to always be moving forward. I desire growth and the discomfort that comes with it. Do you? What is something you can do this week to get yourself headed in the direction of your dreams? Henry David Thoreau said it best, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams, live the life you have imagined.”

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this blog. I would love to hear your thoughts! If you like what you read, please take a short moment to share and comment!

Cheers,

Timothy

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man holding flowers behind back for woman

4 Common Relationship Issues and How to Address Them

Thoughts around why life will never be fair to you.

I honestly feel a bit like an old grumpy man writing this, even though I am in my early thirties it has become extremely apparent to me that there is this mystical belief ingrained in western societies that everything we desire should be handed to us on a silver platter and when things don’t work out exactly how we want, then the best resort is to become a victim and not look deeply into the fact that our lives literally mean nothing to this world and we are entitled nothing.

man sitting on a bench looking to his left holding his phone and having headphones in

Men should manage their time better and here are 3 reasons why.

As much as it may seem out of the traditional scope of what being a man is, there is nothing I find more valuable than being neat and tidy about my time. Personally and professionally, I attribute nearly all of my abilities to show up as a man to my discipline within my calendar. And so, this is why I wanted to share with you that us men should always strive to manage our time better, and why.

a young boy standing in a field looking at a camera while the sun is setting in the background.

Is Masculinity Part of Male Identity?

If you were to ask a couple of men to give you their own definition of masculinity, what are the odds that you’ll end up with the same answer? You’re guessing right: a good, round zero. Neither you nor anyone else will ever be taught at school, or in a manual, what masculinity precisely means, and that is for a good reason. Because we can be a man in so many different ways, each one of us has to come up with his own definition, see if it holds any value, and these types of variables are exactly what started me on my journey.

a picture of a mountain touching the sky with fluffy white clouds.

Thoughts and reflections upon the topic of perseverance.

This is and has been a fascinating month for me personally and one I will look back upon in the future with a smile and a warm heart.

You see, for years I have worked on, spent countless hours, had endless conversations, and wondered why I continue devoting myself to The Man Effect. In this pursuit I have desired to encourage others, find answers for myself, and just be a man who is passionate about life.

in with a dark hoodie chilling on a bench contemplating life and looking out into the distance

12 Questions And Answers About Living Through Hard Times

During these very unique times of life, hardship for many humans is being created due to the pandemic. I felt it would be an appropriate time to ask for the wisdom of men whom I respect to answer questions around how to handle hardship and difficult times.

The way it is formatted is I will introduce each man who has answered the questions and you will also see ways to find out more about them as well.

I hope you find encouragement, wisdom, and hope in the answers written to these questions.

Thoughts and discussion around self-forgiveness.

Have you ever asked yourself, “How do I forgive myself?” It is a difficult and amazing question all at the same time. Recently, after one of the darkest years of my life, I have started to ask myself this question a lot and I am amazed by the amount of impact it has had on me.

masculine warrior holding a dead man sculpture

What is masculinity? That's a question every man should be asking himself.

The Start

What is masculinity? This question is a core reason why I started this blog and photography project here at The Man Effect. I have been pursuing and exploring this question for years. I love it and the ramifications on my life it has had.

Masculinity, manliness, and the nature of men are not only something that I believe every human should take the time to ponder on. As humans, it is also something we should conceptualize and analyze the belief of how men exist and represent themselves in immediate and extended communities.

Moving forward, I think it would be appropriate to build some foundation of a definition before we proceed with the importance and impact this question can and does have on our lives if we are open to going down this path.

man walking on a beach thinking about masculinity

15 Questions and Answers About Masculinity

Questioning what it means to be a man is something that I would consider to be a foundation to this website. So, in honor of that, I decided to compile 15 questions about masculinity that I have seen and heard asked often.

Now, before we jump into these questions, I would like to explain how the answers were created. I chose to ask four men who I respect to take time and share their wisdom. The next thing I will do is introduce them so you know a bit about the men behind these words.

Lessons I've learned from a traumatic brain injury and why discomfort in life is so important.

I am writing this article for two predominant reasons. One, so I can have a tangible point of reference when I reflect upon this season of life I have been through. Two, the possibility that the lessons I have learned may inspire one person to not give up on life as struggles confront them.

“Believe in yourself, take on your challenges, dig deep within yourself to conquer fears. Never let anyone bring you down. You got to keep going. “ ~ Chantal Sutherland