I have this memory from the 1st grad like it was just yesterday. It had recently become popular among my classmates for some odd reason to pull the chair out from under someone as they were trying to sit down, therefore making them plummet to the ground and making a fool of them. I had decided to join in on this fad and instantly got reprimanded by my teacher due to a crying classmate and poor execution of the prank. I will never forget my response to the teacher though. As any good child brought up in the conservative household, I replied to this verbal attack with "The devil made me do it." For some reason, in my head, I believed that if I blamed it on the devil, this would make it, so I was not responsible for my actions. Nothing transpired after getting reprimanded by my teacher other than me having to apologize to my victim, and a fragment of my past is ingrained eternally into my memory.
Here is the thing, though, as ridiculous and evident as it was that I solely was the perpetrator and entirely responsible for my actions even at seven years old I was already trying to run away from taking ownership of my decisions. It is now apparent to me that I didn't want the responsibility for the effects of my choices even at a young age.
How often in life do we blame "the devil" for our actions? Trying to find some mythical scapegoat, so we do not have to take ownership for our lives. Excuses like "My friends forced me to drink until I was intoxicated." "My parents made me go to college." "My boss made me do an illegal transaction." "The food I ate is what is making me fat." The list of victimhood bullshit is endless in our society.
In today's day and age, everyone is a victim. Whether it is we are all poor because the rich make it impossible for anyone to make any money, or blame the car accident on the other person because they made you hit them. The victimhood I have observed, experienced, and endured seems to be endless, and I CALL BULLSHIT. It is the time that men start fucking pulling up their goddamn bootstraps and takes ownership for where their lives are. Yes, life sucks and there are outside forces that influence our lives, but at the end of the day, WE are the ones who are responsible for OUR actions and lives. How you respond to hardship, success, and failure. You are responsible for where you are at today. You and I are responsible for where our lives are at in this very moment. No excuses.
When I was a foreman for an electrical contracting company, there was nothing I hated more than finding the projects I was running being installed incorrectly. Then having to track down the electrician and confront them about what they had done wrong. Instantly it was always someone else's fault. Rarely if ever did I hear "I am sorry I take responsibility for that." It was still someone else's fault. Grown ass men would complain and gripe about the job they fucking chose to go to every day. Then they would avoid taking responsibility for the job they had incorrectly done. Of course, all the technicians were not this way, but I was often baffled by their decisions.
Now the chances that you and I want to blame other people for where we are at in life is highly probable and likely. So don't feel shame or guilt about it. That will do nothing for you. What you and I can do though is every day make the decision to take ownership for our choices and actions and where they have brought us to today.
Do you hate your job? Do something about it.
Is your bank account empty? Do something about it.
Are you single and hate it? Do something about it.
Speak this out loud.
"I am responsible for my life."
Keep saying that out loud over and over as the weeks unfold until you believe it.
Even if you do believe it already it is empowering and motivating to know you are the sole initiator and executor for your life.