Have you ever asked yourself, “How do I forgive myself?” It is a difficult and amazing question all at the same time. Recently, after one of the darkest years of my life, I have started to ask myself this question a lot and I am amazed by the amount of impact it has had on me.
What is masculinity? That's a question every man should be asking himself.
The Start
What is masculinity? This question is a core reason why I started this blog and photography project here at The Man Effect. I have been pursuing and exploring this question for years. I love it and the ramifications on my life it has had.
Masculinity, manliness, and the nature of men are not only something that I believe every human should take the time to ponder on. As humans, it is also something we should conceptualize and analyze the belief of how men exist and represent themselves in immediate and extended communities.
Moving forward, I think it would be appropriate to build some foundation of a definition before we proceed with the importance and impact this question can and does have on our lives if we are open to going down this path.
15 Questions and Answers About Masculinity
Questioning what it means to be a man is something that I would consider to be a foundation to this website. So, in honor of that, I decided to compile 15 questions about masculinity that I have seen and heard asked often.
Now, before we jump into these questions, I would like to explain how the answers were created. I chose to ask four men who I respect to take time and share their wisdom. The next thing I will do is introduce them so you know a bit about the men behind these words.
How To Become A Man Of Action Step 4 Doing Something
Years ago I had taken it upon myself to learn how to craft my own wooden furniture. I spent hours online looking at designs and styles I loved, watched YouTube videos, and bought books on the topic. Finally, I decided on my first project and proceeded to start the arduous scary process of doing something for the first time.
I drove around until I found some wooden pallets in a dumpster or scavenged Craigslist for any free lumber that was posted. After accumulating a mountain of wood and a decent amount of frustration trying to pull the pallets apart, I was then launched into the phase of the project that slowly began to change my life. Articulating my vision. Back in Step 2 I briefly touch on the topic of creating a vision. Well, woodworking is a very practical example of creating a vision and then acting upon it.
How To Become A Man Of Action Step 3 Do Not Give Up
The western world is saturated with self-help literature, self-proclaimed gurus, and nonsensical material attempting to manipulate you into following their "best" methods. If you spend any time on social media the amount of content created to inspire and motivate you seems to be an up an established trend. This stuff is everywhere.
Masculinity And The Art Of Asking Questions
For quite some time now I have been asking the people of Reddit, Facebook, and the humans around me what they think when it comes to the topic of masculinity.
I have been listening and observing what people think on this topic publicly since 2014. You can check out some of the interviews I have done here if you like photos and here if you like videos.
Masculinity Survey
I have been spending years now studying and researching the topic of masculinity and what it means to other men and women. If you have not had a chance yet check out the photography side of this website where I have interviewed hundreds of people asking them all the same question, "If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?"
Male friendships, their importance, and how to develop them.
These are all things I want to touch on in this article. Male friendships are a huge deal and play an important role in life, not only to me but men at large. For the sake of this article, though, I want to start off with defining male friendships.
Male friendships: Two men who have a sense of comradery. They may spend time together, have similar interests, or relate on a deep level. They at times can have an unspoken and spoken commitment to the other individual.
7 Creative Ways To Improve Life That Most Men Are Missing.
There and millions of boys and young men growing up with only a mother, and those who do have fathers chances are high that they are not emotionally present.
Have you ever looked into or researched how vital the father plays in the emotional and social development of a child?
Well, I think before we dive into some creative ways for men to improve life it is important to understand where this immaturity may be coming from and why it is crucial to develop maturity so we can help prevent the some of the next generations from experiencing these struggles.
Masculinity and the art of giving advice.
The power of well placed and articulately delivered piece of advice is an integral part of being a mature society contributing man in my unsolicited opinion. To be asked the right question, given a bit of specific information to transform a mentality or swift kick in the butt; all of these are things I hope every human can experience.
Men, don't give up. Perseverance is worth it.
Take a moment right now, think, reflect, and consider the men in your life and the men of the past that you have respect, ask yourself what is a consistent thread that all these men have.
Chances are they will be dependable, honest, safe, respectable, and many other attributes, but here is the thing, none of these qualities are just handed out at the local charity. No, these core qualities are developed, earned, and built. The men who you respect have held onto their values, they have said no and yes when appropriate and stuck to their word.
Why I Wish Men Would Fight For Their Dreams.
There is an unlimited amount of potential power waiting to be tapped into merely by you choosing to show up on a daily basis.
Why am I trying to emphasize this? Because the amount of personal growth and internal power I have discovered by choosing to perform tasks that push me towards my dreams, actively, has without any question transformed my immediate world.
Dear 20-year-old punk... there is more to style than you think.
I have an investment opportunity for you. An opportunity other 20-something’s are passing up.
This investment can make you more money, get you a better job, land you a great relationship with a beautiful woman, and give you more self-confidence.
This investment is your appearance.
\\ 3 ways to break the feeling of being powerless in life. //
Are you sick of not feeling in control of your life?
Do you hate waking up in the morning because you don't want to go to work or face the day?
Have you spent your entire life trying to keep the peace?
Then what I am about to share most likely will speak to your core.
Sure, everyone has to do things they don't like and need a sense of finesse when navigating the storm of life. This doesn't mean you need to give up your internal power though....
Why are men's groups always so d*mn awkward?
Outside of getting an erection in my 10th grade English class I know of very few things that are less awkward than a classic "Men's Group." No seriously, in English class when that bell rang telling me it was time to exit the classroom, I waited ever so patiently for every person to leave while I supposedly "doodled" on the papers in my notebooks. No one ever warned me about these symptoms of puberty let alone told me what to do in these situations. Damn you sexually suppressed upbringing. Damn you....but I digress...
I am sick of victim-hood bullsh*t, it's time to take ownership for your own life.
I have this memory from the 1st grad like it was just yesterday. It had recently become popular among my classmates for some odd reason to pull the chair out from under someone as they were trying to sit down, therefore making them plummet to the ground and making a fool of them. I had decided to join in on this fad and instantly got reprimanded by my teacher due to a crying classmate and poor execution of the prank. I will never forget my response to the teacher though. As any good child brought up in the conservative household, I replied to this verbal attack with "The devil made me do it." For some reason, in my head, I believed that if I blamed it on the devil, this would make it, so I was not responsible for my actions. Nothing transpired after getting reprimanded by my teacher other than me having to apologize to my victim, and a fragment of my past is ingrained eternally into my memory.
Do you dare to dream?
Dreaming is painful, glorious, and an ecstasy for me. I love the sea of ideas that exist and are floating around out there. I love that from merely an intangible thought something tangible can be created when action is added to the equation. It can be a painful journey, though, reaching for the sun. The likelihood of getting burned is a factor that should not be ignored.
Masculinity and the art of being tenacious.
“A river cuts through rock, not because of its power, but because of its persistence.”
- James N. Watkins
There I was on yet another pilgrimage cruising down a freeway that offered very little other than a hypnotic amount of yellow and white lines stampeding towards my mechanical chariot. I had decided to go on a road trip to visit some friends randomly. I had many intentions for doing this, but the main one was just to give myself some time to clear my mind and process what the hell had just happened to my life. Needless to say, I had recently gotten punched pretty hard by life, and I was trying to figure out how to press on and recuperate from this.
Let the dirt settle. I dare you.
I needed this, so badly, there I was standing ankle deep in the Sacremento river taking a break from a road trip across the west coast of the U.S.A. Oddly my grime riddled body felt slightly cleaner as the sweat, and dirt was being washed from my feet. After breathing deeply and enjoying the sunset, I looked down at my feet in the water and something I have seen a thousand times profoundly hit me. I let the dirt settle in the water around my feet. Now, this may seem simple, and honestly, I think it is, but it struck an internal cord in me. You see, often, my life feels like I am always in a cloud of chaos and consumed by "murky" waters. I feel like I hardly ever know what the next step is in life or where I am headed. So there I was standing ankle deep not only in water but in a revelatory moment that I wanted to dive fully into.
The invisible bodybuilder. Part 3: Adaptation and Managing Expectations
This article will make more sense if you have read the first two of the series. If you have not done this yet, please take a moment to read Part 1(CLICK HERE) and Part 2(CLICK HERE) of the invisible body building series before you go any further!