The western world is saturated with self-help literature, self-proclaimed gurus, and nonsensical material attempting to manipulate you into following their "best" methods. If you spend any time on social media the amount of content created to inspire and motivate you seems to be an up an established trend. This stuff is everywhere.
It has been one of my strongest desires with starting The Man Effect to help encourage men to be authentic and more present. Well, I was talking to one of my cousins who is a therapist, and we were discussing psychology and life in general. That is when being present came up in our conversation, and it inspired me to want to write an article to encourage men to grow in this arena and give them practical tips on how to do so.
The power of well placed and articulately delivered piece of advice is an integral part of being a mature society contributing man in my unsolicited opinion. To be asked the right question, given a bit of specific information to transform a mentality or swift kick in the butt; all of these are things I hope every human can experience.
Have you ever broken a bone or known someone who has had to drudge around for weeks on end with an oversized healing mechanism that the doctors like to call a cast? Well, being in a stage of life that's hard is nothing like that. In fact, facing depression, heartbreak, or lack of direction is quite far from that type of cookie-cutter healing process. Sure there are general steps that everyone can take to work through these issues, but at the core, every person is different and has unique needs when it comes to being able to heal.
Being an electrician who works on residential and commercial real estate, I have had the continuous opportunity to brush shoulders with people who are generally beyond the social class that I grew up in, to say the least. This one man that I have done work for over the years has given me the time of day and every now and then we grab a drink together. So the following is what this millionaire taught me about masculinity.
Habits have a strong influence in shaping who we are and how we interact with life. I think of these regular routines as what gives or takes away from the positive or negative character we display in life. Now what one deems as a positive and a negative may vary, but I cannot think of very many men whom I have met that want to be a bad person. We all make mistakes and stupid decisions at points in life, but I know I want to have a positive impact on this world and be a "good" person. The following four habits are things I believe aren't helping masculinity.
In my journey of seeking out what the definition of masculinity is, I have observed in the conversations I have had with a multitude of men that when advice is unsolicited it is more offensive than helpful. This realization helped me figure out the times that misplaced advice seemed to be the most unwanted. So here is a list of what I have observed: