I needed this, so badly, there I was standing ankle deep in the Sacremento river taking a break from a road trip across the west coast of the U.S.A. Oddly my grime riddled body felt slightly cleaner as the sweat, and dirt was being washed from my feet. After breathing deeply and enjoying the sunset, I looked down at my feet in the water and something I have seen a thousand times profoundly hit me. I let the dirt settle in the water around my feet. Now, this may seem simple, and honestly, I think it is, but it struck an internal cord in me. You see, often, my life feels like I am always in a cloud of chaos and consumed by "murky" waters. I feel like I hardly ever know what the next step is in life or where I am headed. So there I was standing ankle deep not only in water but in a revelatory moment that I wanted to dive fully into.
Two thousand and sixteen was a year that wanted to be a teacher. It was the older brother who forced me to sit down and taught me things which I did not want to know and what I did want to know. Plenty of people were longing for the year to end and stop taking the precious lives of their beloved celebrities. I was hoping just to make it to the end of the year and could honestly have little emotion towards the lives of popular culture that were fading away. In reflecting back upon the year though I think it has been a subtle teacher for a few issues on masculinity that I believe will be pivotal in my life.