I am just going to come out and say it. Going to church on a weekly basis, sitting in a chair and simply listening to someone’s opinions on God has the potential to create passive men. So one could say I believe going to church creates zombie men more often than not. Why should I care? I literally get sick to my stomach with the idea of men just accepting whatever is spewed from a man-made pulpit. I want to see men not just sit passively and listen but rather engage and expand one’s own beliefs! Consistently consuming watered down theology will get you barely two feet into the marathon of life. Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of good that comes from Christianity and there is also a lot to be said about passive women and just humanity in general. Right now, though, I want to talk about men and the church. I want to talk about how the industrialized mindset has and is fracturing the belief structure of men in trusting the professional (pastor, priest) to know absolute truth and wisdom. Men who don't take it upon themselves to actively work out their faith or life are passive. For me, personally, to exist means to struggle, wrestle with, and overcome life, to ask the hard questions and be assertive in my internal world just as much as my external.
Are you emotionally living in your parents basement?
Do you emotionally live in your parent's basement? I found that the emotional aspect of masculinity is something I never really gave much thought to until recent years. Once I started to dive deeper into this realm I came up with this idea/parallel and thought sharing it could be fun. So here you go.
Grit, the lost commodity.
I was having a conversation with a couple colleagues about masculinity recently . It was brought up because I had just interviewed one of them for my project The Man Effect (themaneffect.com). A multitude of topics relating to manhood were covered that night, but one that stuck out to me enough to write about was this one question that was asked:
Christian culture lacks masculinity.
It is in my uneducated opinion that Christian culture lacks masculinity. Every time I interact on some level with a men's group in the Christian milieu it feels like I am watching a small child reaching for a candy jar on a shelf six feet above its head. There is always something off. The non stop agreements to confidentiality. The unwavering amounts of awkward stints in conversation. I cannot express the amount of times I have wanted to scream "WHO GIVES A FUCK!" just for the sheer pleasure of seeing their stunned faces. I want to explain the standard format of these groups just so you have a general understanding. You walk in, sit down and in some capacity, this is what happens in the next couple hours. An activity (icebreaker), worship (sometimes), a presented topic (through a speaker, audio track, or video), then breaking off into small groups is common, and lastly the best part in my opinion is after all that formality you just hang out and talk with the other men. The reason I am bringing these groups up is they are the only source of masculine development the Christian church provides. I will say though, I do not feel anger at the groups I have been apart of, rather it is more a lack of satisfaction and concern that I am trying to express.