"Over a year ago I managed to lose approx 50lbs and ended up getting in the best shape of my life. It was right after a book worthy divorce which murdered my appetite and ability to sleep, but that's another ball of wax. As I've spent three to four days a week in the gym, I've been noticing a lot about men. We're ridiculous. It's ironic that most guys are visually oriented, so we're constantly looking at ourselves in the mirror (yes me too) which allows us to witness genuine progress. It's weird to me, guys with the biggest biceps or upper body get the most respect or are the most intimidating to others. Women assimilate those big arms and chest to a man who is strong. Maybe she'll feel protected or safer with him. Maybe she wants to be next to something substantially bigger than her, or maybe it's all a bunch of insecure crap. Now I'm not the big guy nor will I ever be as a measly 5'10" weighing in at 190lbs. I'm happy with myself. It's funny, my trainer (an Olympic track coach, so leg day is no fun) told me once, "Ya know, most these guys train only the stuff you see not their legs, hips, lower back, and core. This is the stuff that creates insane real strength in a man I assure you. A man with strong hips, legs and core is to be feared." Then he showed me why and I get it...
I guess what I'm trying to get at is why are women and even men looking to other men that show legitimate strength? (When it comes to physique.) Is it that he takes care of his body in general? Is it that he can fight well, so that makes him a good protector you hope? What makes a man safe? What truly showcases a man's strength? Is it the alpha chest puffing or ego we put off to each other as men? What makes a muscle bound man attractive? I'm not talking meat head on steroids I'm talking ya know he's got nice guns, big chest and whatever else your flavor. I believe a man's strength is to be reserved. Confidence that he doesn't have to prove to others his capabilities through any means, and he has mastered not only his body but his emotional intelligence and self-awareness. In fact, he brings other men into this place or thought process. Meaning, he's not afraid to call his friends or others out without belittling them or breaking them as men. He calls them to a higher standard out of kinship and caring. He does not fear being underestimated and has nothing to prove to anyone. He has no problem celebrating another's victory or success. It doesn't place him below anyone; he's secure and confident in his space.
This to me is a strong man. I used to overcompensate in so many areas of my life and was driven by constant insecurities. I am finally at a place in my journey where I can say I'm happy with the balance of self-awareness, masculinity and still comfortable in my crazy self. Alright, I'm done, time for some squats and core work.
What do you think makes a man strong?
Guest Writer
~Zach
