Understanding

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?

"I would choose the word understanding... I pick that because with being a man it seems like so many men are flipping it how i think it should be. Is that their seeking to be understood and then to understand, when its far more relatable and far more productive just being with other people to seek to understand first and then to be understood...

When you sit back and listen for a little bit you can hear some ideas you never thought of. This might change your whole outlook or you will start hearing a lot of stuff and be able to pick up on bullshit better." 

Word: Understanding
Occupation: Photojournalist
Age: 22
From: Kansas City, Missouri

Who is the manliest person you know and why?

"It is really hard for me to pick one...

I might have to say that back in the day at summer camp there was a group of three counselors that I look back on. They were really solid and in tandem together really gave a good example to us. At the time I was like 16 or 17 and you know that is a tumultuous time for any guy growing up and just kinda having those guys for two weeks out of the summer, you got to see really solid stuff come out of them."

What do you think healthy masculinity looks like? 

"I guess I could answer that in I guess in describing in contrast to stuff that we are seeing today. Like we got some legacy celebrity and politicians and stuff getting knocked down from their unchecked masculinity for so long. So we are starting to see now what a lot of unhealthy masculinity looks like. On like an extreme side..."

What advice would you give your younger self about masculinity?

"I would tell myself that I cant find what masculinity is outside of myself. I gotta find it inside myself to establish who I am centered. And then bring that out into the world. Not take things from outside and try to make that what I am on the inside." 

Vulnerable

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would if be and why? 

"I would choose vulnerable.

Who you truly are, whatever your emotions are whatever you are dealing with you are able to express that in a way that you are able to touch move and inspire another human being instead of making them wrong or making them feel belittled or wronged or any of the emotions that we want to tie our ego." 

Word: Vulnerable
Occupation: Department Manager
Age: 42
From: Kansas City, Kansas

Who is the manliest person you know and why?

"My mom is the manliest person I know because she is the very definition of what a man is supposed to be. What I mean by that is being of African American descent I got ahold of something called the "Willie Lynch Letters." I think all men should read this because it really puts in perspective how we have been indoctrinated to be something we truly are not. In those letters, Willie talks about how you take civilized negro you tar and feather him, you quarter him up by the horse and you pull him apart and whip him, in front of the mother, the children, and the uncivilized negro. What happens from this is there is a paradigm shift that occurs between the men and the women. 

What happens is the woman will put herself out front to protect their sons, they will have their sons be physically strong yet mentally weak. So, I feel like part of what is happening to not only men in particular but to our generation of human beings as it stands right now. Is that we have a civilization of people who have gotten behind the woman and is listening to the lead of the women instead of being who they naturally are...

Until we get to the point where we are mentally strong and we are aware of who we are, especially as men and we start being the leaders that women need us to be instead of them being out front and sheltering and protecting us." 

Do you think masculinity has an impact on society? Why or why not?

"It does and it has a negative effect on society. Uhm... why I say that is because the masculine nature is that of conquering and that of conflict, that of one upping someone else.  It is like this constant pissing battle, it really is..." 

What advice would you give your younger self about masculinity?

"You are not your circumstances, you are not the events that took place in your life and  you don't have to be what you've seen on television. It is okay to be who you authentically are whether you like Jimmy Hendrix, the Doors, or whatever. Stand in who you are and be proud of that, and never ever sell yourself short for who you really are or who you could be, and love everyone." 

Stable

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?

"I would choose the word stability. 

In a family, I think men feel obligated to bring stability, I think that's something that is hardwired into us. I think of when I was a child and my dad always drove. I always felt safe. I always felt like I knew he was in control... I think that is something stability brings.

This is something I try to focus in on in my life. I try to bring stability to my family. We all fall short of our ideal right? And so I think that you can't say that we will bring stability to all situations but as a whole, that should be something that a man should want to bring to a situation." 

Word: Stability
Occupation: CEO
Age: 39
From: Raytown, MO

Who is the manliest person you know and why?

"That is a hard one, I have a lot of mentors and people that I have leaned on over the years, but I would say that my father was very stable when I was growing up. Again, he didn't talk much but when he spoke it was important. Uhm. When he told you to do something you knew it was important. 

Another person was my grandfather. He was a little rough around the edges but he taught me about masonry. He was a man that again, you knew that when he said something he meant what he said and said what he meant.  He wasn't somebody that beat around the bush. And I think that brings stability.

Lastly, there was this guy named Jay. He was always cheerful, he was a cancer survivor and I had talked to some people that knew him when he was going through his Chemo. They said he'd go and get his chemotherapy on the weekends and throw up all weekend and show up to work on Monday. And the thing is it all came down to him having to supply for his family. I don't know if you could call anything else more stable than that. He was a stable guy. You could count on him. You knew that he was there for you.

I think those three guys right there are tied for first." 

When was a moment in life that you felt most masculine?

"One of the times was when my daughter was born. I just remember holder her for the first time, and seeing how little she was and realizing how strong and big my hands were and that I had the responsibility of protecting her when I could." 

What does healthy masculinity look like?

"I will bring it back to stable. It is balance. It is understanding that you have a power and using it wisely...

We(men) need to be builders and not breakers." 

Decisive

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would if be and why?

"I would choose the word decisive because I know there is something manly about someone that knows and is sure about himself... I think someone who is more masculine is more secure about himself, they know exactly what they want to do. I know I feel more masculine when if I decide something really quickly and I am not wavering and I am like steadfast in my decisions. "

Word: Decisive
Occupation: Software Engineer
Age: 25
From: Kansas City, MO

Who is the manliest person you know and why?

"My Dad, because he knows how to read people so well and pick up on things some other person would not be able to do... He can do subtle things that will make my mom really happy." 

Do you wish you were more masculine why or why not?

"I don't care either way. I don't wish I was more masculine I don't wish I was less masculine, I just want to be myself... I don't want to desire either way."

What advise would you give your younger self about masculinity?

"Anything that stops you from making your own decisions, even if it is a cultural norm, you just gotta remove all your thoughts about whats normal and think outside the box and make your own decisions."

Safe

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?

"I would choose the word safe. You see, as a man, I am capable of a lot. One of those is a responsibility to protect others and bring people into an environment that allows them to be able to be free enough to be themselves. It is important to live a life where we allow ourselves to be messy." 

Word: Safe
Occupation: Vehicle Wrap Artist
Age: 32
From: Redding CA

Who is the manliest person you know and why? 

"My father. I always thought I would never live up to the man my father is. It wasn't until I realized that being a good father comes from being a good son. It is as simple as that." 

What does healthy masculinity look like to you?

"A person who operates in their masculinity in a healthy way actually creates an environment for people to, be able to be safe and for people to be themselves."

What advice would you give your younger self about masculinity?

"Don't worry about it.... because worrying about it is only going to prolong the process, instead just keep moving forward. This is the most important thing. You will figure it out." 

Genuine

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?

"I would choose genuine because that to me also means real, authentic, and candid. A man should be those things. The good, the bad. and the ugly. Accepting of himself, his triumphs, and failures." 

Word: Genuine
Age: 30
Occupation: Musician/Quality Lead
From: Folsom CA

**NOTE**
Check out this musicians website! (CLICK HERE!) Him and his wife are doing some killer stuff! 

Who is the manliest person you know and why?
 
"Santa Clause, because he is happy to be himself and spread joy and cheer. He's not into body image and is pretty black and white about naughty or nice." 

Do you wish you were more masculine? Why or why not?

"Uhmm I guess I wish that I did more things that were "manly." Like, I can't grow a beard, and for some reason, to me, that means like manly.  I can grow a goatee and some patchy facial hair on the side, but one day I hope I can grow a beard..." 

What advise would you give your younger self about masculinity?

"I guess masculinity is not what the movies tell you that it is or that TV or whatever tells you that it is. Since I am a man being myself that just because daddy-daughter dances make you cry haha doesn't mean your not a man. And still, strive for the beard but it's not a make or break... Be confident about yourself it's all good... If someone invites you to go hunting go hunting. "

Balanced

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?

"I would choose balanced because it does not identify either way with masculine or feminine it exists as a human being that embraces and accepts in the light of compassion the oneness of every person to feel worthy to just be authentic and self-express wholly... Balance holds a space for people to be self-express authentically." 

Word: Balance
Occupation: Yoga Teacher
Age: 44
From: Shawnee, Kansas

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Who is the manliest person you know and why? 

"I have a friend named Jay; he seems balanced. I look to him for guidance sometimes... He is one of the manliest people I know and is somebody who lives his life through this expression of balance, and he is one of the best people at that. Men who are willing to be authentic, soft, genuine, and strong, but at the same time not afraid to be vulnerable... There is a lot of strength in vulnerability. "

How much of a role do you think your father had to play in your perspective of masculinity? 

"It was everything because I measured every man I ever met with that experience to my dad and what would he say about this. I would say he was the benchmark. Eventually, I got to the place where I could question did he know everything? Could another man know as much or more, or offer a different perspective. But yea he played a huge role. "

What advice would you give your younger self about masculinity?

"Regardless of your experience in your life, within you, you are an expression of both the masculine and the feminine, and your journey through life will be to remember that. To remember your masculinity and to remember your femininity and the balance of your power to weave the two together. If you ever feel whether it's an identification with one over the other or an alienation of one or the other is simply to not acknowledge or forget that everything is there, it's just this life is about remembering the balance. It's not something somebody can take away from you. It's not something that somebody can give to you."

Grit

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?

"I would use the word grit, and I don't mean anything dirty or uncouth. I like the word grit for that concept of that fire which drives you to get up and do what needs to be done. Whether you get knocked down, whether you fall down, that thing that causes you to choose what's right over what's easy  or causes you to pursue what's good rather than what's expedient or to seek truth instead of just entertainment I know we have prettier words for that concept, but that concept requires a level of self-sacrifice, and sacrifice is almost never pretty. It can be beautiful, rarely pretty. "

Word: Grit
Occupation: Engineer
Age: 37
From: Olathe, Kansas

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Who is the manliest person you know and why?

"I would say a man by the name of Ronnie Collin. He was an older South African gentleman that I had the privilege of calling my close friend for a number of years. You talk about a guy who has been through a ton of life, who has fought through a number of things, who has spine of steel, just a phenomenal work ethic, and lived a life of commitment and yet he was (and I saw was because he, unfortunately, passed away a few years ago) one of the most joyful and most compassionate and brightest spirits I have ever known. And yet he was still unquestionably manly and gritty and determined, and I learned a lot from him."

When was a moment that you felt most masculine?

"I will tell you one moment, but know this, they all revolve around my kids and being imminently proud of my kids and seeing them become who they are becoming. If I wanted to target one moment even though it was years ago, it was probably the birth of my first born whose a boy. Just all of those feelings, of number one, being proud, number two, oh my gosh I'm a father and then just going this is my son... I made this... I am responsible for this, and my job is to teach him to be a man. Not that I knew what I was doing but that was one of the points where I felt most masculine because I felt I am gonna do this, I'm not running from this I am not hiding from this. I'm not saying I'm fully equipped for this yet but I am gonna be, and I am going to teach him to be a better man than I am."

What advice would you give your younger self about masculinity? 

"Okay, so the first thing that came to mind uh was Jack Andy 'You're smart enough, you're good enough, and gosh darn it people like you.' and as goofy as that SNL skit was there is a nugget of truth to that. No matter who you are, what you are, if you are you, you are good enough......"

Diligence

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?

I would choose the word diligence. Consistent and earnest effort to accomplish what is undertaken; persistent exertion of body or mind. Why diligence? What is a man without it?

Word: Diligence
Occupation: Sculptor
Age: 31
From: Kansas City, MO

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Who is the manliest person you know and why?

"A man named Jody. He lives on five acres in Colorado. He raises animals, hunts, gardens, and makes his living as a cobbler. He is happy, free, and has a father's heart. One time a young man asked if he minded if he smoked on a ministry trip. Jody responded 'Smoke, we love smoke! It drives all sort of religious spirits away'."

Do you wish you were more masculine? Why or why not?

"Do I wish I was more masculine? Do I wish I was more diligent? Because my word was diligence.... Who doesn't wish they were more masculine? I've tried to grow a beard and it doesn't look super great on me, because it doesn't grow nice and full. I think of a lion in Africa and what would be a male lion without his mane ya know....

I'd like to build my own house from the ground up that is one of my dreams. Uhm... I love being a man and I'm so thankful I was born a man. I love working with my muscles and my physical body. I love helping people.

When I was a young guy, I really wanted a Jeep because I just liked the idea of being able to go and pull people out of the ditch and stuff. And if like somebody is in trouble I have this loyalty inside of me that just wants to be there for them. Like if one of my buddies called me and he was down in Mexico, and he said he needed me. I would drop everything and just go. I think that is a good thing and that's one of the things I like about myself and that I am proud of. If there was more of that, I think that would be great. I think more beards are great, work boots, etc...

Who doesn't want to be more masculine? I do." 

What does healthy masculinity look like to you? 

"Well, I can tell you one thing that I don't feel like it looks like. Because I have had men over me that haven't been able to admit that they were wrong and it has not made me trust them. I think it's important to admit that you are wrong and I think that is a healthy part of masculinity. When you blow it to be able to own it.  I also heard this quote one time, and it said: 'When a man plants a tree for shade that he will never enjoy in his lifetime then he has at least in part learned the meaning of life.' And I think when a man can have the vision and it goes beyond himself or the temporary moment to those that it is going to affect and realize that his decisions aren't just about changing his current situation. I think that is really manly." 

Honor

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why? 

"I would choose honor because it encapsulates whom one is in order for it to be lived, demonstrated, and expressed to those around you. "

Word: Honor
Occupation: Self Employed
Age: 35
From: De Kalb, MO

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Who is the manliest person you know and why?

"My father. He embodies honesty, integrity, and hard work with a tender heart daily." 

Do you wish that you were more masculine why or why not?

"You know, it's funny because I've been told "Hey you are so metro" but that comes through I think in my artistry and my soft tender heart, but most people have no clue that I was raised in the bush, thatched roof, no water, no electricity, you could hand me a pocket knife and throw me somewhere and I'd probably be just fine. But that exterior is not portrayed in who I am, or just like physically or just like kinda if you just meet me, and so I don't know if I would want to be anymore quote "masculine" you know. I fell like I have a pretty decent balance..... So no I do not wish I was anymore masculine." 

What advice would you give your younger self about masculinity?

"I don't think I have rested on any one phrase from my dad as much as I have in the last four or five years like this one statement. Which is "You can love the product insurmountable, but until you embrace the process you won't see all of the colors and you won't have a true value for the result or what ends up being the product" and that is basically trying to enforce yourself especially in the hard times to enjoy the process of every season that life throws your way, because, the more that you can get out of it, even if its rough. Of course, when it's not as rough it seems more enjoyable but when it's rough and you think you wanna get through it and want to hit that fast-forward button. But, if you can endure and stay true to the process the product is guaranteed that is what my dad would say, but you will come out looking at that product of what that is and the result of that in your life with feeling victorious..."

Understanding

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word what would it be and why?

"Probably understanding. Just to be understanding of other peoples feelings, You know I have been married now for eight years. You have to be put other people's emotions before your own sometimes or pick up on, you know when my wife is having a bad day or when my kid is feeling upset, anxious, or tired because he's two.

Also to have an open mind and be learning. Just in my experience, I don't know I grew up a little more closed minded at times.  And the older I've gotten, and the more I've learned and had interactions with people that think, believe, and do things differently than me, the more rich my life experiences have become. And like talking to people that I disagree with it's perfect, you learn so much more about yourself and so much more about the world at large. It's something I wish I would have done sooner. I grew up fairly conservative Christian. That influenced allot of my life as far as being closed minded to these people or those people or whatever because of what I was taught or what I was brought up near. I think that always be learning and understanding. That's not just being a man, that's being mankind or humankind. If you are always thinking and always learning, I think it's probably a good thing; that's the point of being alive.  Enjoy a new experience or learn something you never knew. " 

Word: Understanding
Occupation: Home Inspector
Age: 31
From: Kansas City, Missouri

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Would you describe yourself as an emotional man? If so would you like that to change?

"Yea I am an emotional man. I have been since I was a little kid. I was very sensitive growing up and no I don't think I would change it. There are times that maybe I wish I would have because as a young kid growing up I got picked on. Ah I guess everybody got picked on... but you know I took it to heart allot and I let my emotions kinda guide me and rule my life and I'll be candid I have been going to therapy for some emotional things and there are other things I would rather not talk about, but I am happy with being an emotional man.  I don't see it as a fault of character.

I want to be able to empathize with people at an emotional level and I want to be in touch with my emotions so I can do that.  I think being an emotional male isn't a negative stereotype or anything like that. I am friends with men who are closed off to their emotions and a lot of times it leads to horrible things like drugs, alcohol, and suicidal things or suicide. I mean you can go to dark places if you're not at least trying to communicate with your emotions and if you need help to do that by all means do. 

My advice to other men is if you feel terrible or something or you feel like your emotions are eating you up man, talk to somebody about it seriously.  That's the other thing there is a stigma about therapy and it is embarrassing to talk about I don't want to tell people I am in therapy. I am trying to be more open about it though because it can change people's mind."

Authenticity

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?

"I would choose authenticity, because, loving those closest to me means being emotionally and mentally present. To me, authenticity is the way to do that. By being authentic I allow those around me to know who I am at my core. "

Word: Authentic
Occupation: Undisclosed
Age: 33
From: Leawood, K

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Who is the manliest person you know and why?

"I would say my grandfather Wayne. He loved well and shared from his heart. His faith and family came first, being real with those around him. I loved his wisdom, peace, and clarity. He was authentic when I needed it most."

Wall

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?

"When I think of one word that describes what it means to be a man, I see a wall. It's more of a picture than just a word and it's not just any wall, either, the bulwark, almost fortress-like not some sheetrock and 2x4 studs. The idea behind the picture in my mind is that a man guards and protects all that he has within his sphere of influence, the people and things that were put in his care. There is a duality to the idea, though, a man is a strong and formidable obstacle to any force outside of those whom he defends and protects. When he is in good condition, he is not easily overcome by the threat of those outside forces. At the same time, though, he is a protective force for those people on the inside of his care.  Often, those cared for will at some point test the limits of his protection and defense and want to go beyond what they are capable of properly handling or should even attempt to handle. In this case, this wall is now a protection for the people in its care, from themselves. I think of things like a young teenage daughter who wants to be romantically involved with a man or an extremely angry and emotional friend who is about to commit the destructive act they would regret once they regain their senses. A wall like this is a formidable obstacle to those within its influence. Running into the wall a couple times and having it not move may possibly delay somebody long enough to help them think through the cost of their decisions. A man like this essentially says to those on the inside and outside of his care, "If you're going to get to XYZ, you've got to go through me first!"  I know it's a bit strange, but that's what I see. "

Word: Wall
Occupation: Entrepreneur/Business Development
Age:35
From: Kansas City, M

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Who is the manliest person you know and why?

"Well, no disrespect to her, and in fact, it's actually the opposite. The manliest person I know, especially regarding my own one-word description, would have to be my older sister. She has always been that protective barrier from the outside threats and that "check-yo-self before you wreck-yo-self" influence, not just to me but to numerous people throughout my life. There was never any man in my life who acted as that force until years later, but my sister has almost always been it. Probably even before I can remember.  I'm thankful, though, for her sake now, because she can let that down more and my brother-in-law can help out. Although it wasn't necessarily her role to play, she did it well and I highly respect and love her for it. "

Intentional

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?

" I would choose intentional. As a man, I want to live in a way where I consider the best choices for my family, my time, my finances, etc - and choose, on purpose, rather than letting life happen to me. A true man to me is not just one who acts, but does so out of wisdom and by intent."

Word: Intentional
Occupation: Realtor & Home Inspector
Age: 35
From: Kansas City, MO

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Who is the manliest person you know and why?

"John Patton. Part of his story is that he turned down living in his dream home and location, a raise of 3x his current income, and moved his family half-way across the country because it was the best thing for his family and was obeying the Lord's leading. He was intentional about decisions in his life, including huge ones that weren't favorable in the eyes of most people. Those closest to him benefitted the most."

Love

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?

"I would choose love because, I think that being a man, a true man, can be summed up in love. Love is what gives life, and love is what provides opportunity for flourishing. If a man is operating, living and leading the ways he was designed to, then there will be lots of flourishing around him."

Word: Love
Occupation: Marketing Specialist
Age: 25
From: Kansas City, M

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Who is the manliest person you know and why?

"I would say Patrick Magers. The way he loves his wife, works with excellence and integrity and how he gives himself to others, he is the vision of a true man to me. Love and pouring oneself out."

Real

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?

"I would choose the word real, because the older I've gotten, the more I've realized the lack of pure, genuine people in the world. Now that I'm married and someone's husband, one of the only feelings that stays true is being real, raw, and unhindered by fear or risk. I hit this point when I was twenty four where I "Woke Up" and realized that everything I had done in life up until that point was "safe". I promised myself that from that point on, I was gonna live my life authentically, even if it wasn't safe."

Word: Real
Occupation: Car Salesman/Barista
Age: 26
From: Kansas City, MO

Who is the manliest person you know and why?

"My grandfather. The guy is a badass. Fought in two wars and even though he was never super soft or affectionate, I've always known he deeply cared for me and would do anything for me."

Present

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?

"I would choose present. Men should be present in every moment, whether it be at work, at home, or sharing moments with someone significant. They take advantage of the moment, live it up, and share it with others."

Word: Present
Occupation: Preschool Teacher
Age: 27
From: Kansas City, MO

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Who is the manliest person you know and why?

"I would say my friend Derrick because he demonstrates loyalty, strength, and integrity with each person. He lives in the moment and it takes him to grand places."

Determination

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?

"I would choose determination because whatever you may be put through if you stay determined you can always make it."

Word: Determination
Occupation: Vagabond Musician
Age: 24
From: N/A (He was on a trip around the world)

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Who is the manliest person you know?

"Louis Armstrong"

Love

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?

"I would choose love, because love is the right and most honorable thing to do in every situation."

Word: Love
Occupation: Nurse
Age: 33
From: Kansas City, MO

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Who is the manliest person you know and why?

"My Grandpa. He lived a life loving all types of people. Ultimately, this excluded him from other circles."

Champion

If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would if be and why?

"I would say champion, because a true champion is a champion in everything that he does, from the way he ties his shoelaces, the way he brushes his teeth, the way he treats others, and everything in between.  In the same way, a man must be disciplined in all his ways to give his best. A champion also fights for the causes of others. A man must fight for his family, his friends, and people who can't fight for themselves. 

Word: Champion
Occupation: Parts Advisor
Age: 26
From: Phoenix, AZ

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Who is the manliest person you know and why?

"My father, because he has always puts his family and others before himself. He has fought many times on my behalf. He has sacrificed many things in order for others to be bettered. The gifts that he has given me are the examples of his character for me to follow."