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4 Common Relationship Issues and How to Address Them
Compassion
If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?
"The whole world needs more of it."
Word: Compassion
Occupation: Commercial Real Estate Broker
Age: 46
From: Lenexa, KS
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Present
If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?
"I would choose present because it's a striving. The more presence, the more awareness and receptivity for our planet and her people."
Word: Present
Occupation: Bodyworker
Age: 43
From: Tulsa, OK
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I honestly feel a bit like an old grumpy man writing this, even though I am in my early thirties it has become extremely apparent to me that there is this mystical belief ingrained in western societies that everything we desire should be handed to us on a silver platter and when things don’t work out exactly how we want, then the best resort is to become a victim and not look deeply into the fact that our lives literally mean nothing to this world and we are entitled nothing.
As much as it may seem out of the traditional scope of what being a man is, there is nothing I find more valuable than being neat and tidy about my time. Personally and professionally, I attribute nearly all of my abilities to show up as a man to my discipline within my calendar. And so, this is why I wanted to share with you that us men should always strive to manage our time better, and why.
If you were to ask a couple of men to give you their own definition of masculinity, what are the odds that you’ll end up with the same answer? You’re guessing right: a good, round zero. Neither you nor anyone else will ever be taught at school, or in a manual, what masculinity precisely means, and that is for a good reason. Because we can be a man in so many different ways, each one of us has to come up with his own definition, see if it holds any value, and these types of variables are exactly what started me on my journey.
This is and has been a fascinating month for me personally and one I will look back upon in the future with a smile and a warm heart.
You see, for years I have worked on, spent countless hours, had endless conversations, and wondered why I continue devoting myself to The Man Effect. In this pursuit I have desired to encourage others, find answers for myself, and just be a man who is passionate about life.
During these very unique times of life, hardship for many humans is being created due to the pandemic. I felt it would be an appropriate time to ask for the wisdom of men whom I respect to answer questions around how to handle hardship and difficult times.
The way it is formatted is I will introduce each man who has answered the questions and you will also see ways to find out more about them as well.
I hope you find encouragement, wisdom, and hope in the answers written to these questions.
Have you ever asked yourself, “How do I forgive myself?” It is a difficult and amazing question all at the same time. Recently, after one of the darkest years of my life, I have started to ask myself this question a lot and I am amazed by the amount of impact it has had on me.
The Start
What is masculinity? This question is a core reason why I started this blog and photography project here at The Man Effect. I have been pursuing and exploring this question for years. I love it and the ramifications on my life it has had.
Masculinity, manliness, and the nature of men are not only something that I believe every human should take the time to ponder on. As humans, it is also something we should conceptualize and analyze the belief of how men exist and represent themselves in immediate and extended communities.
Moving forward, I think it would be appropriate to build some foundation of a definition before we proceed with the importance and impact this question can and does have on our lives if we are open to going down this path.
Questioning what it means to be a man is something that I would consider to be a foundation to this website. So, in honor of that, I decided to compile 15 questions about masculinity that I have seen and heard asked often.
Now, before we jump into these questions, I would like to explain how the answers were created. I chose to ask four men who I respect to take time and share their wisdom. The next thing I will do is introduce them so you know a bit about the men behind these words.
I am writing this article for two predominant reasons. One, so I can have a tangible point of reference when I reflect upon this season of life I have been through. Two, the possibility that the lessons I have learned may inspire one person to not give up on life as struggles confront them.
“Believe in yourself, take on your challenges, dig deep within yourself to conquer fears. Never let anyone bring you down. You got to keep going. “ ~ Chantal Sutherland
Staygold
If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?
Why did you choose stay gold? "Why not."
Word: Staygold
Occupation: Mason
Age: 42
From: Kansas City, MO
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Superman
If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and
"I chose Superman because whenever I'm asked what is considered a, "Man," I think of my father, and since I was little, I've seen my dad as Superman."
Word: Superman
Occupation: Freight Broker
Age: 24
From: Overland Park, Kansas
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Respect
If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?
"I think a man needs to show a female respect to be a man."
Word: Respect
Occupation: Warehouse Worker
Age: 26
From: Kearney, MO
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Honor
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Blacksmith
If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?
This man chose not to write down an answer to why he chose that word. I tried to get it out of him but what he was saying I could not follow.
Word: Blacksmith
Occupation: Roofer/Forklift Driver/ Prayer of Church
Age: 57
From: Kansas City, MO
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Pursuer
If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?
"When I think of the word man I think of pursuer, and calling that quality forth in a man whether it be pursuing dreams and goals, or relationships and not cowering back in fear but arising to the challenge and pursuing that in which men are called to do, to be pursuers!"
Word: Pursuer
Occupation: Sales Manager
Age: 25
From: Kansas City, MO
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Integrity
If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?
"A man is only as good as his word and he sets an example for his children, his legacy."
Word: Integrity
Occupation: Prosecuting Attorney
Age: 59
From: Harrison, Michigan
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Father
If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would be and why?
"I would choose father because my daughter is getting married in 3 hours."
Word: Father
Occupation: Psychologist
Age: 59
From: Wichita, KS
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Gentle
If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?
"I think a real man is able to be in control of his emotions/anger etc and remain gentle - displaying strength but not in a typical, outward way."
Word: Gentle
Occupation: Edit Assistant
Age: 27
From: London, England (UK)
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Work
If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?
"My dad was the picture of masculinity for me growing up and among many other admirable traits I always knew him to be a hard worker."
Word: Work
Occupation: Owner of Unruh Furniture
Age: 27
From: Kansas City, MO
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Moses
If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?
"Moses was a leader of people. A visionary for what he believed and concerned for humanity."
Word: Moses
Occupation: Retired Postal Carrier
Age: 78
From: Kansas City, MO
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Image
If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?
"I was thinking that "man is created in the image of God"! That is what I strive to do in life so others that see me won't see me but the one for whom saved my life nearly fifty years ago. "For I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me and the life I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me."
Word: Image
Occupation: Retired
Age: 60
From: Independence, MO
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Integrity
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Vouch-Safe
If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?
"To give your stuff and of yourself with graciousness and kindness. Simple generosity and faith covering for the lovely/unlovely around us."
Word: Vouch-safe
Occupation: Undisclosed
Age: 39
From: San Clemente, CA
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Long-suffering
If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?
"To have patience in spite of challenging circumstances."
Word: Long-suffering
Occupation: Counselor
Age: 37
From: Kansas City, MO
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Innovation
If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?
"Creativity and innovation set humans apart from animals. Innovation is using the tools you have in a way that has never been used."
Word: Innovation
Occupation: Political Activist
Age: 19
From: Kansas City, MO
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Godly
If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?
This man chose not to say why he chose godly.
Word: Godly
Occupation: Self-employed
Age: 27
From: Springfield, MO
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