Let’s be honest. Everyone under the sun could use a boost in confidence. Women find it attractive. Men crave it. The world in general would benefit if people would just take a little time to intentionally focus on becoming confident. As with anything, though, you need to figure out and decide for yourself what will work best. Here are some general ideas I have learned work best for me.
Ask three close friends what your strengths are. I have found over the years that my most confident areas are ones that my closest friends verbally acknowledged to me at some point. Without the thoughtful words of affirmation my friends have given me I honestly do not know where I would be today. In the moments when I question myself and am feeling doubtful about who I am the words they spoke over me years earlier defused the bombs of self destruction.
If you suck at something get professional help. Blunt enough for you? I would exhaust myself emphasizing this one. Humble yourself, kill your pride, write the check, and get professional help in the areas of your life that you lack confidence. This could mean many different things from going to see a therapist to hiring a boxing coach. Acknowledging and pursuing the professional help you need is a huge catalyst to building confidence. I personally have spent a few pretty pennies myself getting the people who know a thing or two to help me grow in the areas of my life that have been a huge source of insecurity.
Face a fear. This sounds cliche but there’s a good amount of truth to it. Your fears are holding you back from so much shit that it is freaking ridiculous. Fear causes some people to go blind. Blind to not realize that the level of illogical notion that they are giving into is holding them back from massive benefits. I remember when I started overcoming my fear of dating. As stupid as that sounds dating scared the bejeebers out of me. I wish I could accurately articulate the amount of confidence it has built in me to face that fear. Just get on with it. Trust me, facing your fear is worth it.
When you want to quit something keep going a little longer. This one is difficult for me. I have spent years now working a job that I absolutely want nothing to do with. It has become a part of me, though, and has taught me immensely about life. I personally believe that pressing through that antagonizing discomfort and pride I have honed valuable skills including gaining confidence in areas of my life I had counted hopeless.
Take up a hobby (or two). I think, as a man, finding a knack that I am obsessed with and love has built a level of confidence in me that is unrivaled by anything I’ve ever done. Becoming so intensely wrapped up in my craft has enabled me to experience successes and failures, be empowered by the notion of a job well done, and see first hand the fruits of my labor. I personally believe as I continue down this path that pursuing hobbies will continue to raise the level of confidence I have in myself.
I know these are some basic steps but I truly believe that they will help you out. I would love to hear other things you have done to build your confidence. If you have a moment, please take time to share in the comments below!