I cannot count the number of times I have woken up wondering if I was in an alternate reality? I arose from a deep stupor the other day feeling like I was living out the very thing I had watched in my favorite comedic shows and began to wonder how I had ended up in such a surreal state. It became apparent to me that struggling to find my identity, seeking a significant other, and fumbling through my professional life were all similar symptoms to the classic sitcoms I had spent hours absorbing. Having an ex contact me and want to get back together along with just recently dating someone who ghosted did not help this television like feeling.
There I was laying in my bed wide awake at 7am struggling to find the motivation to move my body to get ready for another day of monotonous work, conflicted with the struggle of who to choose to be in a relationship with, let alone find someone who is even interesting, and why not add in the classic seeking happiness in life. All of these things are so prolonged and drawn out that any sitcom would be at its 200th episode before ever starting to resolve, that is if it was based off my life and yet there I was waiting in childlike anticipation for a resolution to the discord in my life. The soberness of this realization could not be accompanied with anything else other than a sarcastic laugh which was followed by a longing to know what to do with such a seemingly ironic epiphany.
How does a man come to terms with his life? To have patience for resolution to be brought to the disruption plaguing one’s journey. I personally have wrestled with my existence for a long time. I read a classic christian book awhile back called “A million miles in a thousand years” by Donald Miller. In this simple literature I found myself being inspired to take new levels of control in my life which I felt were left up to destiny. Miller talks about his process of taking a previous book he wrote from text to movie. The arduous process that he laid out was fascinating and surprisingly applicable to my own life. What I remember most was feeling so encouraged to start taking steps to making my life what I want it to be. This might seem simple but at the time it was huge. I had been fighting for years with the mentality that the author of my script(life) was in charge and I just needed to go with the flow. Gladly that has been slowly changing. I am starting to believe that I need to start developing creative control of the character I have been assigned. I am going to be the start working towards what I want to be rather than passively letting my life unravel before me.
I guess the purpose of this article is this. Even though my life is surprisingly similar to the sitcoms I have watched a million episodes of, I am still on some levels in control and most definitely responsible for my life. I want to continue on the journey of being fascinated by the time I get to spend on this earth and building an epic volume of small and large adventures. I find that if I cannot embrace the irony of life and work through the painfully awkward moments I will not be able to have a deep appreciation for my existence. This is most definitely still a process for me and I doubt I will perfect the process of embracing my life to the fullest but, at the end of the day I am trying. This for me is what is important.
How do you come to terms with your life? Do you have any wisdom to share? I would love to read what you have to say! Just share it in the comments!