I would categorize myself as an all or nothing kind of guy in a lot of arenas of life. This has been a blessing and a curse it seems. When I am done with a conversation sometimes, I just walk away disregarding social norm, or when I want to build something, I work with persistence until it is done.
One thing I have been my whole life is someone who dreams. I dream of being a successful businessman, having a loving family, trying to learn new tangible skills, travel the world, or just eating a damn good steak. I love the hypothetical, the formation of an idea, the birth of creativity. That is what I love, yet I reach these moments in life where the intangible world gets old, and I become frustrated and want to pull something from that realm into my milieu. So I choose one out of the multitude and just go for it, it becomes my sole focus. That is why I started this blog/photography project. I wanted to be a man of action, so I went for it, that's why I got into woodworking and photography also.
Well, I reached another moment in life where I had to make a change and take a stab at a dream I had formulated. So, what does all or nothing Tim do? He quits the best paying job of his life, leaves his friends, family, girlfriend, and the security of a city that he loves to chase an audacious dream. So here I am, in the grind, the challenge, the struggle. I feel alive, yet, scared and alone. Every day I am met with a new challenge, and it's exhilarating and terrifying.
So what does this have to do with masculinity you might be asking? Everything! It has everything to do with just being a good human being. Check out this quote from a previous article on The Man Effect.
"This is masculinity to me. It has little to do with not failing, being prosperous, stable, secure, or perfect. It has everything to do with being willing to not give up in the worst moments of life. To refuse that the struggle is over. If I have learned anything, it is this. No matter what happens, to keep pushing." Click here for the rest of the article.
Seriously though being a man isn't some list of items that you need to check off. NO! It is an internal decision and resolution to be an authentic society contributing individual who has the audacity to be true to one's self and keep pushing forward in life. Yep, that is vague, but seriously the journey to find one's self and be true to that seems to be the hardest and most counter-cultural thing an individual can do.
Now, I am not saying I have this perfected by any means, but I am on my journey, and for that I am grateful. At the end of every day or when I am confronted with my fears and insecurities, all I attempt to do is remind myself of this simple reality. I need to take life step by step and one day at a time.
That is the damn truth. Accept it.