The debate surrounding the masculinity crisis is a complex one. It ranges from believing that masculinity is merely a social construct that should be done away with in order to promote a more successful, accepting society, to the belief that masculine behaviors are inherited through genetics, carefully shaped over millions of years of evolution. At it’s core, the question is this: are men born distinct beings quantified by the term “manly,” or are they taught to be masculine? Is masculinity even real, or is it something that we as a society have created?
Do you think boys should cry?
A hospital room decorated in blue balloons, onesies declaring, “Mama’s Boy,” and adoration from nurses and family members alike: that is a typical welcome scene for a newborn baby boy in the United States. Those first days are often filled with attention, affection, and soothing words for the streams of tears that typify babyhood. In those first days, girls and boys are very much the same. They are free to express pain, fear, and surprise. Parents scramble to learn everything they can to create the most loving, supportive home for their new child. But in the days and years that follow, something changes.
Who will fight for the boys of today?
“The inner boy in a messed-up family may keep on being shamed, invaded, disappointed, and paralyzed for years and years. "I am a victim," he says, over and over; and he is. But that very identification with victimhood keeps the soul house open and available for still more invasions. Most American men today do not have enough awakened or living warriors inside to defend their soul houses. And most people, men or women, do not know what genuine outward or inward warriors would look like, or feel like.”
What ever happened to the Rite of Passage ritual?
Throughout much of history, spanning tribes, cultures and continents, the rite of passage from boyhood into manhood has signified the delineation for men. It marks a separation, a coming of age, a fulfillment of an important role within the greater community. Today, as we see persistent adolescence lasting until men are middle-aged, less and less men marrying and getting out of their parent's homes at the age of twenty-something, and increased gun violence perpetrated by male youth throughout the Western world, the question begs a revisit. Do boys need a rites of passage to help bring them into manhood?