My struggle of being honest was brought to the forefront recently when my annual birthday plagued my life without bias. I have never know how to conduct myself when it comes to my loving family and friends wanting to gift me their affirmation and love. If I were honest, I would say please celebrate me and love me, but alas, what usually happens is I shut down emotionally, and am unsure of how to respond with all the attention focused on my existence.
Authenticity. Does it matter?
I like to believe that I am a man of authenticity. There are moments of compromise, but this is something I desire. I long to be known as an authentic man. In reflecting on ay back from when I started this project the, I interviewed myself before anyone else and asked myself the core question of this project "If you were to describe what it means to be a man in one word, what would it be and why?" My answer was authentic as shown in the picture below.
The Compass of Conviction.
Here I presently exist glaring life dead in the eyes wondering how in the hell am I going to make this? How will I live another day without setting myself up for failure in the present and future? It is as though I am taught by my societal upbringing that life should be magnificent and anything less than that, is a failure.
"Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength." >Arnold Schwarzenegger<