The struggle of day to day meaning and purpose seems to be a consistent advent in my life. In the southern Minnesotan culture, where golden corn fields were my backyard, all I could dream of was doing something epic or being someone who made a significant difference in the world. As the years rolled by and I watched the sun rest over the golden kernels that feed the milieu we live in, this desire in my life has not diminished. Rather, quite the opposite has occurred. Since I have traversed past my later teens and into my final twenties, nothing has been more apparent to me than the fact that I am still gasping for air, this unseen thing that my innate nature is telling me I need, this imperceptible longing for meaning.

I was observing these tendencies that I have, and found it fascinating that I was so deeply longing for something more. It got me thinking, what if this desire is a reaction to me drowning internally? What if my soul is fighting for a purpose like my stomach longs for food. What if my guts are screaming for significance like my lungs gasp for air when I am drowning in water. What if I need to stop ignoring this inner war that is going on and give it some attention? What if this squirmish between reality and the invisible is more than a longing for attention?

"Heroism is endurance for one moment more." George F. Kennan

What if I need to be a hero for myself? What does endurance look like when I literally feel my life, masculinity, emotions, and purpose or on the line? How do I take one more day on of this arduous bull-shit that the social construct which I am immersed in tells me is the path which I am obligated to fulfill? How does a man or a human for that fact exist? I am sorry this article seems to be more of a journey entry than anything, but seriously can someone please download the algorithm in my brain for happiness and purpose like they downloaded ninja skills to Neo in the Matrix?

"The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph." Thomas Paine

Can this be true? If I endure will there be a glorious triumph on the other side? Is that even a motivation I want? Ugh! Even if there was a book to teach me how to live life day by day, I fear that this would be worse.

I think what I am trying to articulate is this; is there a way to stop gasping for air? Will I ever stop having the feeling like I am drowning? Have you numbed the pain or overcome it?

I really honestly want to know if other people have had this feeling and if so what have they done to overcome it? Please take some time to share your thoughts, as I really do want to hear them.

Cheers,

Timothy

Featured Articles

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4 Common Relationship Issues and How to Address Them

Thoughts around why life will never be fair to you.

I honestly feel a bit like an old grumpy man writing this, even though I am in my early thirties it has become extremely apparent to me that there is this mystical belief ingrained in western societies that everything we desire should be handed to us on a silver platter and when things don’t work out exactly how we want, then the best resort is to become a victim and not look deeply into the fact that our lives literally mean nothing to this world and we are entitled nothing.

man sitting on a bench looking to his left holding his phone and having headphones in

Men should manage their time better and here are 3 reasons why.

As much as it may seem out of the traditional scope of what being a man is, there is nothing I find more valuable than being neat and tidy about my time. Personally and professionally, I attribute nearly all of my abilities to show up as a man to my discipline within my calendar. And so, this is why I wanted to share with you that us men should always strive to manage our time better, and why.

a young boy standing in a field looking at a camera while the sun is setting in the background.

Is Masculinity Part of Male Identity?

If you were to ask a couple of men to give you their own definition of masculinity, what are the odds that you’ll end up with the same answer? You’re guessing right: a good, round zero. Neither you nor anyone else will ever be taught at school, or in a manual, what masculinity precisely means, and that is for a good reason. Because we can be a man in so many different ways, each one of us has to come up with his own definition, see if it holds any value, and these types of variables are exactly what started me on my journey.

a picture of a mountain touching the sky with fluffy white clouds.

Thoughts and reflections upon the topic of perseverance.

This is and has been a fascinating month for me personally and one I will look back upon in the future with a smile and a warm heart.

You see, for years I have worked on, spent countless hours, had endless conversations, and wondered why I continue devoting myself to The Man Effect. In this pursuit I have desired to encourage others, find answers for myself, and just be a man who is passionate about life.

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12 Questions And Answers About Living Through Hard Times

During these very unique times of life, hardship for many humans is being created due to the pandemic. I felt it would be an appropriate time to ask for the wisdom of men whom I respect to answer questions around how to handle hardship and difficult times.

The way it is formatted is I will introduce each man who has answered the questions and you will also see ways to find out more about them as well.

I hope you find encouragement, wisdom, and hope in the answers written to these questions.

Thoughts and discussion around self-forgiveness.

Have you ever asked yourself, “How do I forgive myself?” It is a difficult and amazing question all at the same time. Recently, after one of the darkest years of my life, I have started to ask myself this question a lot and I am amazed by the amount of impact it has had on me.

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What is masculinity? That's a question every man should be asking himself.

The Start

What is masculinity? This question is a core reason why I started this blog and photography project here at The Man Effect. I have been pursuing and exploring this question for years. I love it and the ramifications on my life it has had.

Masculinity, manliness, and the nature of men are not only something that I believe every human should take the time to ponder on. As humans, it is also something we should conceptualize and analyze the belief of how men exist and represent themselves in immediate and extended communities.

Moving forward, I think it would be appropriate to build some foundation of a definition before we proceed with the importance and impact this question can and does have on our lives if we are open to going down this path.

man walking on a beach thinking about masculinity

15 Questions and Answers About Masculinity

Questioning what it means to be a man is something that I would consider to be a foundation to this website. So, in honor of that, I decided to compile 15 questions about masculinity that I have seen and heard asked often.

Now, before we jump into these questions, I would like to explain how the answers were created. I chose to ask four men who I respect to take time and share their wisdom. The next thing I will do is introduce them so you know a bit about the men behind these words.

Lessons I've learned from a traumatic brain injury and why discomfort in life is so important.

I am writing this article for two predominant reasons. One, so I can have a tangible point of reference when I reflect upon this season of life I have been through. Two, the possibility that the lessons I have learned may inspire one person to not give up on life as struggles confront them.

“Believe in yourself, take on your challenges, dig deep within yourself to conquer fears. Never let anyone bring you down. You got to keep going. “ ~ Chantal Sutherland