Have you ever wished to become a man of action?
Why? Is it out of regret? Or longing for a fuller life? Or is it motivated by fear of missing out on life?
These are all critical questions to ask before you start seeking the motivation to be a man who is known to get things done.
The power of well placed and articulately delivered piece of advice is an integral part of being a mature society contributing man in my unsolicited opinion. To be asked the right question, given a bit of specific information to transform a mentality or swift kick in the butt; all of these are things I hope every human can experience.
A hospital room decorated in blue balloons, onesies declaring, “Mama’s Boy,” and adoration from nurses and family members alike: that is a typical welcome scene for a newborn baby boy in the United States. Those first days are often filled with attention, affection, and soothing words for the streams of tears that typify babyhood. In those first days, girls and boys are very much the same. They are free to express pain, fear, and surprise. Parents scramble to learn everything they can to create the most loving, supportive home for their new child. But in the days and years that follow, something changes.
“The inner boy in a messed-up family may keep on being shamed, invaded, disappointed, and paralyzed for years and years. "I am a victim," he says, over and over; and he is. But that very identification with victimhood keeps the soul house open and available for still more invasions. Most American men today do not have enough awakened or living warriors inside to defend their soul houses. And most people, men or women, do not know what genuine outward or inward warriors would look like, or feel like.”
There are a lot of male figures that we can look up to on the big screen. For some, Sylvester Stallone in Rambo is the epitome of masculinity: tough takes shit from no one, and can carry the entire United States government if need be. Others love Liam Neeson in Taken. Outsmarting traffickers, problem-solving in the midst of major crises and general ass kicking in the name of saving the helpless is about as manly as it gets. But there is one figure that has always stuck out as an unbelievably epic male hero in cinematic history. His name is William Wallace.
If you are anything like me, you crave authenticity. I have spent my whole life with corporations, religions, and government parties attempting to manipulate and draw me into their paradigm so they could dictate me to be one of their faceless minions. They are all great at putting a smile on their faces and telling me what I want to hear. I despise this more than being a child who is being told to go to bed. I want to know the truth and I want myself and the people around me to be authentic. There is a classic Gandhi quote which I like to paraphrase, “Be the change you wish to see”. In response to Gandhi's wisdom, here is a short article with five steps I have taken to be more authentic and I hope you find them insightful.
We have all seen those lists on the internet, claiming to hold the key to the 35 things that will lead you to true happiness. They include ideas like waking up early and traveling more, taking time to be present and doing yoga. One question comes to mind whenever I read those articles: how truly helpful are these lists and do they hold the key to what leads to a happy life?
Tradition has demanded it. Many men have viewed it as the ultimate test of their manhood, others even as their rite of passage. When wars have to be fought, young men go to do it. Honor bound, duty bound, a sacrifice of love for those they hold dearest, or a chance to embark on a dangerous adventure. This is how men have, and in many cases still do view war.
Inner healing seminars, masculinity conferences, and men’s retreats all claim to have some deeper answer to the masculinity crisis we see in our nation and other nations in the world. Lost youth, increasingly poor performance in school and jobs, loneliness, high suicide rates, and higher risks for addiction and violence have put men on the fronts of newspapers and made them the subject of a number of psychological studies. So these seminars, these conferences, these 48-hour programs seek to dive into the heart of the issue, and arm men for the journey into true manhood.
I was having a conversation with a couple colleagues about masculinity recently . It was brought up because I had just interviewed one of them for my project The Man Effect (themaneffect.com). A multitude of topics relating to manhood were covered that night, but one that stuck out to me enough to write about was this one question that was asked: