The struggle of being a mid-twenties male in a first world country with little to no worry in this day and age is that I cannot shake the question of "Why do I do what I do?" I am blessed with a low-stress life, with an abundance of food, and a roof over my head. Yet, this inquisition of "Why do I do what I do?" covers from my profession down to my reasons for writing this blog. I just struggle with what is my motivation, my reason, my purpose.
Why Prolonged Adolescence is the New Epidemic.
“The Wild Man doesn’t come to full life through being “natural,” going with the flow, smoking weed, reading nothing, and being generally groovy. Ecstasy amounts to living within reach of the high voltage of the golden gifts. The ecstasy comes after thought, after discipline imposed on ourselves, after grief.”
How I Knew I Became A Man.
There I was, minding my own business going about my mundane life when all of the sudden I got a text carrying the question. “When did you know you became a man?” I sat and stared at the screen briefly with an instant sense that this provocative inquiry was the perfect catalyst to help me examine a deeper level of myself which I had not yet traversed. I responded to my friend that this was an excellent topic, and I would explore it next time I had a writing session. Alas, here I am about to go down the path which I know will change me. Are you willing to join me?
An Open Letter to Women Who Don't Think Men Should Be Emotional
There are plenty of social outlets perpetuating the belief that men are not as emotional as women. Depending on who’s holding the conversation, some even hold the belief that men are not as deep, caring, compassionate or smart as women. The modern woman is looking for a man who will be able to relate to her, care about her heart as much as her body or ability to cook, and be able to keep up with her and her accomplishments and aspirations. All the while, women are waiting for men to display their inherent shallowness and incapacity to display or handle emotions.
Why I Stopped Relying On God To Make Me Masculine.
The idea of a deity having a role in making me more masculine is something I found rooted deep in my youth, most likely from watching and reading about Greek mythology or Biblical characters such as Hercules and King David and just the culture I was brought up in; the images of these incredibly masculine men who seem to be able to take life by the testicles are fascinating to me. Why did God intervene in their masculinity and not mine? Has their been outside intervention in my development as a man? King David, for example, found strength in the Judaic God whom he worshiped while out in the wilderness as a shepherd. Legend has it that the supernatural confidence imparted to him enabled the conquering of a lion, bear, and even a giant with simply a sling and stone. Now Hercules on the other had was the son of Zeus and a mortal to my understanding; he went on a myriad of outrageously epic adventures that required the strength given to him by the Gods. These images of masculinity indirectly implanted a mentality in my life that God was what will make me a true man. I hope to displace this belief on some levels from my life.
11 Ways You Can Affirm Your Sons Today
Raising great men is a serious job. One day, your little boy is going to grow up, and they will take on their role as men. The way they live out that role, the contributions they make to the community and the world around them, and the generations that follow them will all be affected by the way they see themselves and how they choose to live their lives. With all the parenting advice out there, it can be difficult to know what it takes to raise a good man, and some of that definition will depend on who you ask.
What we do know is boys grow up and face a tough world. Having the support of parents who believe in them makes all the difference. Here are some important and simple ways you can help affirm your sons in a culture that doesn’t always reinforce what they truly have to offer the world.
Does Accountability Matter?
Growing up in a heavily influenced Christian atmosphere the word accountability was used frequently and most commonly within the context of the men in its culture. It seemed to be this sort of scapegoat crutch to pawn major life issues onto. Now, don’t get me wrong, I think having people involved in my life and giving support through tough times is needed; however, I hope to bring some definition to this topic through what I have observed. In the following, I will explore what personal accountability should look like in my opinion and experience.
Is Traditional Masculinity Bad?
With all the negative research regarding masculinity, it pays to love yourself if you’re a man. The dividing line is all too black and white, with science producing study after study that seems to lead the reader to understand that masculinity, and an adherence to masculine beliefs and social structures leads to negative outcomes. The problem is that there isn’t much research on the opposite, or the positive outcomes that can be associated with having a strong reinforcement of traditionally masculine traits or values.
Why I Honestly Desire To Be Masculine.
My personal journey of attempting to define what it means to be a man has been a long and arduous process that I am honestly unsure if I will ever find the desired goal. The process has been the most sculpting and humbling thing of all it would seem. This quote seems appropriate to this subject context.
“The journey of a thousand miles, begins with one step.” ~ Lao Tzu
Since “The Man Effect” was started out of my personal desire of wondering what it means to be a man cross-pollinated with my desire to do a photography project, I thought it was finally time to sit down and write about why I long to be a masculine, because I believe this will help give context and understanding to my motives for this project.
Why Does Gender Equality Have to Mean Gender Neutrality?
Why does gender equality have to mean gender neutrality? Each person grows to live, love, and feel the way they do within a context of time. If time travel was possible, we would likely be shocked by the beliefs, customs, mannerisms and language of the times that came before and after us. People can experience this through simple trips overseas. Even those who decide to live in other countries for extended periods of times often experience distinctive loneliness that occurs when you just don’t understand or relate to parts of another person’s culture.
5 Reasons Why Everyone Should Think About The Meaning Of Life.
Have you ever just sat down and thought about life? This is something I personally have grown to value more and more as my life unrolls like a fruit roll-up haha. Thinking about the vastness of life has helped me put things into a healthy perspective. I was recently talking with a friend about certain areas of life that we both were choosing not to think about just because it was easier in that moment than facing our adversity head on. I found this realization to be sad as we both were choosing passivity and a small consistent pain rather than dealing with the issue and eliminating the producer of our agony. I hope you enjoy the following five reasons why everyone should think about the meaning of life.
Men Love Video Games: Who Gives a Shit?
Do you think video games are bad? There is a lot of study on the effect of the quickly developing technology all around us and so far, the jury is out on a lot of it. Part of the trouble of having hindsight 20/20 is that you have to get some years down the road to truly understand what type of effect things like social media, the internet and for the purposes of this article, video games, are having on us, our children and the future of society. Currently, the topic is hotly debated and widely disagreed upon, even among physicians and professors. Men love video games. Does it even matter?
5 Reasons Why Everyone Has The Power To Make Life Changing Decisions
I want to be honest, deep down I like to feel I have the ability to make life-changing decisions which empower me to head in the directions of my dreams. I know when I started to realize the power of my decisions and the influence they had on my life and the people around me there was no turning back, the realization I had that the power of decision making is not biased to race, gender, or social class was a big deal. It helped me decide to make the decision to write this bad-ass article explaining why! HAHA! The following reasons are why I believe you have the power to make life-changing decisions. I hope you choose to read the whole thing. HA!
7 Things That The Modern Man Can Find Meaning In
Who doesn't desire a personal sense of meaning? Have you ever met the average ever day guy who wakes up groggy, showers and dresses for work, spends time in morning traffic, and trudges his way through a corporate job that makes him question the meaning of life. He often wonders what exactly he is building, struggling to find the meaning of manhood in a culture that lacks many of the opportunities and incentives provided to men throughout history. As technology changes, jobs move towards being desk centered, indoors, and for all intents and purposes, hands off. Joe feels like he is dying inside each day. He longs to build something of his own. This can describe the way many men often feel in Western culture. Devoid of a community, isolated in jobs that lacks a sense of deep, personal meaning, and often silenced, many men are working for nothing more than a paycheck. Gone are the days of the Wild West, the homestead, and the communal purpose that men and society in general used to experience. The Industrial Revolution changed the way we work, and men have suffered in many ways ever since. Finding a way to overcome, a purpose for which to work towards, and an obstacle that can be conquered is vital for the happiness and well-being of modern men. Here are seven ways you can find it.
Are You Scared Of Commitment?
It was just another Friday night, and I was headed out to see some friends at a local bar I frequented in previous years which consistently had swing dancing in downtown Kansas City. When I arrived I saw a friend of mine behind the bar and I grabbed his attention. After a basic interaction, we parted ways with, “We should get together again soon.” Both of us agreed with a simple head nod but nothing was set in stone and away I went.
Is Masculinity Inherent or Taught?
The debate surrounding the masculinity crisis is a complex one. It ranges from believing that masculinity is merely a social construct that should be done away with in order to promote a more successful, accepting society, to the belief that masculine behaviors are inherited through genetics, carefully shaped over millions of years of evolution. At it’s core, the question is this: are men born distinct beings quantified by the term “manly,” or are they taught to be masculine? Is masculinity even real, or is it something that we as a society have created?
Why the term "Real Man" needs to go away.
In today’s society marketing has plagued the world with intense trigger words to grab our attention. Since I have spent a decent amount of time focusing on what it means to be a man, I have grown distaste towards one common phrase that I continue to see weaved into numerous articles: “Real Man”. I want to take a moment and parallel this to the “Organic Food” movement. Have you ever thought about how pathetic it is that something has to be marketed as “Organic” or “All Natural”? Shouldn’t the food we eat be assumed to be all natural and good for us? Likewise, I am left contemplating the subject of masculinity and this hot, new terminology. The very idea of “Real Men” implicates that we live in a modern day epidemic where masculinity is so out of touch with its origins that we have to clarify whether something is authentic or not. This is staggering.
Do you think boys should cry?
A hospital room decorated in blue balloons, onesies declaring, “Mama’s Boy,” and adoration from nurses and family members alike: that is a typical welcome scene for a newborn baby boy in the United States. Those first days are often filled with attention, affection, and soothing words for the streams of tears that typify babyhood. In those first days, girls and boys are very much the same. They are free to express pain, fear, and surprise. Parents scramble to learn everything they can to create the most loving, supportive home for their new child. But in the days and years that follow, something changes.
4 Times When You Shouldn't Give Advice.
In my journey of seeking out what the definition of masculinity is, I have observed in the conversations I have had with a multitude of men that when advice is unsolicited it is more offensive than helpful. This realization helped me figure out the times that misplaced advice seemed to be the most unwanted. So here is a list of what I have observed:
Who will fight for the boys of today?
“The inner boy in a messed-up family may keep on being shamed, invaded, disappointed, and paralyzed for years and years. "I am a victim," he says, over and over; and he is. But that very identification with victimhood keeps the soul house open and available for still more invasions. Most American men today do not have enough awakened or living warriors inside to defend their soul houses. And most people, men or women, do not know what genuine outward or inward warriors would look like, or feel like.”