How to look masculine.
Looking masculine holds a powerful cultural context in today's day and age and trying to attain this look for some men is highly desired while others naturally fill the role.
I decided to write down some characteristics of how to look more masculine in practical ways. I divided them into outer attributes and inner qualities that I believe will help you on your journey.
Taking the time to work on the internal qualities first allows you to build a healthy foundation, so you are not motivated from a place of insecurity. Ignoring the foundations of who you are, and just changing the outside has little to no impact. I highly recommend focusing on your internal world first.
I hope you take time to read the following points and then put them into practice.
How to be more masculine internally.
Confidence.
Having self-confidence is a significant influencer in how you and others perceive your level of masculinity. It will also influence how you carry yourself in many social situations.
Confidence is a tricky thing, and it is developed in people’s lives in many different ways. So do not think you will change this overnight. It is a process and journey that every human is on. Be patient and steadfast.
A couple of ways for you to figure out how you can grow more in self-confidence are the following tips.
+ Audit your life. Yea I know this sounds odd, but look throughout your life and find the areas you are confident in. Then ask yourself why. This seems simple, but when you honestly take the time to think about and reflect upon your life, it may amaze you what you find.
If you can decipher how you grow as an individual in confidence, then you should be able to translate that into other areas of your life that you want to change or improve in confidence as a man.
+ Make yourself do the hard sh*t. Yea, I honestly doubt you will take heed to this advice, but this is awesome shit.
After making the hard decisions, and pushing through the positive or negative consequences that occur, this will strengthen your self-confidence immensely if you honestly and studiously face the good and bad of life on a consistent basis.
Essentially face life, don't be passive, and embrace the ups and the downs. In my own life, the greatest amounts of confidence have come from overcoming the hardest moments and situations life has presented me.
Also since we are on this topic check out these articles on confidence if this is an area you want to grow in.
Assertiveness.
To be assertive and decisive can be regarded as a masculine trait. Yes, any human being can be those things, but there is a cultural expectation for men to be assertive and decisive.
What is assertiveness? It is a man who can stay calm and collected, yet have the ability to speak up when necessary. Not in an overbearing manner, but straightforward and respectful.
Here is an excerpt from 5 Attributes of Authentic Masculinity that applies to this topic.
An assertive man is the polar opposite of a passive man. He not only has a backbone made of titanium but he exerts energy when he sees fit. He knows when to speak up, and when risk should be taken.
Now it is essential, though, to expose the difference between an assertive man and an overbearing man. Let's chat about this for a second.
- An assertive man knows when to take action; he speaks his mind, yet, he is open to being wrong, he has the ability to adapt, but can also hold his ground when necessary. An assertive man can take action in life knowing full well that he will have things to learn along the way.
- An overbearing man is someone who acts out of insecurity. He belittles other’s ideas, emotions, and dreams. He is the source of frustration in team efforts and is a know-it-all. It is his way or the highway 100% of the time and is not open to change.
Now I am trying to polarize the two so that you can see the difference, but in life, it is not always so obvious. So proceed carefully.
Another huge indicator of an assertive man is that he will also be a man of action, and the fear of failure does not constrain him. Take a moment in and observe throughout your life, ask yourself who is assertive in your life, and learn from them what you can.
Respect.
When making decisions that influence others you should stop and ask yourself if what you are doing will generate or lessen people’s respect for you. Now I am not saying you need to be a people pleaser but just take into consideration the positive or negative influence your decisions have on your life.
Masculine men often are respected in their communities and inner circles of friends. This does not mean they are always agreeable, but it does magnify the fact that who this man is, produces respect.
Here are three ways to grow increase the respect others have for you.
Do the right thing even when it is at your expense. For example, say you run your own business and you underbid on a job, instead of just not doing the work or disappearing, you show up and finish the job even though it is at a loss.
Clearly communicate with others. In difficult and just daily situations if you are a clear and concise communicator this will slowly grow the respect others have for you in your life.
Achieve goals. Many men who are respected are those who achieve and exceed the goals they have for themselves.
Vision.
A man with an articulated thought out vision for his life has motivation, conviction, and direction. It is hard to boil down such an important topic but in all reality. If you give time and work hard to develop what you want for your life, and you are willing to fight for it, and I mean really fight for it, then, fight for it harder than if you were gasping for air while drowning.
Once you have become a man of vision, this will embolden you to face your fears, push through your insecurities, and grow as an individual. These attributes will develop you into what society perceives as a masculine man.
The cool part about all this though is that you won't care about appearing more masculine, because, by the time you have a strong vision and are pursuing it, you will be so focused on your dreams that even the idea of worrying about what others think will fall to the wayside.
How to be more masculine externally.
**Please take this with some sobriety of mind. This is not a formula, or a one size fits all list. These are my observations and learnings from over the years. Try things out, be your own test subject and see what works for you.
Posture
This is a big deal. How you carry yourself will communicate with others and yourself subliminally how you feel.
The more composed and upright you are, the more masculine. Stand straight, with your shoulders back, and your chest a bit out. Do this in a relaxed state, do not exaggerate this posture because that will have the opposite effect.
I got the image below from this link scroll down to point #6 for more info on that. https://bonytobeastly.com/ectomorph-aesthetics-full-article/
If posture is something, you struggle with maybe see a chiropractor or do your own research online on how to improve it.
Eye Contact
Do not look at the ground when speaking to people. Make eye contact and look away horizontally if you feel you have been looking for too long.
A technique you can use if you want to try something new is focus on one eye of the person you are talking to, then switch to their other eye, and then to their mouth. Imagine a triangle on their face connecting these three points and just rotate between them as you feel necessary.
Also, keep your eyes relaxed when making eye contact do not glare at the other person as this will have an adverse effect.
Relaxed & Calm
Take deep breaths and relax; a masculine guy is one who is calm and collected. You cannot be relaxed if your muscles are tense. Focus on your breathing to help relax your muscles.
This will help you develop the muscle of self-control. The stronger this muscle becomes, the more you will present yourself as confident and masculine.
A man who is relaxed and calm does not show fear, anxiousness, or anger. He presents himself as being able to face any situation as it arises and is desireable to be around.
Clothing & Apparel
Aquire a timeless style, this is always a safe bet. Take some time and research timeless men’s fashion. Make sure to look through all social settings of life. For example, social, business, business casual, events, etc.
There is a myriad of resources out there to help men with fashion. If you want some individual help reach out to a good friend of mine Patrick at his website here. He is an image consultant and is always down to help me.
Physical activity.
Go to the gym or pick up a new sport. The more athletic you are, the more masculine you will appear.
Now I am not saying you need to turn into a bodybuilder, but the more you take care of your body and get into and maintain being in shape others will recognize. Also, this will boost your self-confidence.
There is also a good amount of psychological, hormonal, and other benefits from being physically active. Look into it.
Hygiene.
Take a shower regularly, go to a barber or trim your hair, clip your fingernails, brush your teeth, and maybe add a hint of cologne into your world.
As you pay more attention to your hygiene and do something about it on a consistent basis, you will change not only how others perceive you, but also how you view yourself. This is one of many details that help develop appearing more masculine.
I hope these simple points start you off in the right direction. If you have more questions, please let me know. If there is something you would like me to write about, please share in the comments below.
Cheers,
Timothy
