Outside of getting an erection in my 10th grade English class I know of very few things that are less awkward than a classic "Men's Group." No seriously, in English class when that bell rang telling me it was time to exit the classroom, I waited ever so patiently for every person to leave while I supposedly "doodled" on the papers in my notebooks. No one ever warned me about these symptoms of puberty let alone told me what to do in these situations. Damn you sexually suppressed upbringing. Damn you....but I digress...
I am sick of victim-hood bullsh*t, it's time to take ownership for your own life.
I have this memory from the 1st grad like it was just yesterday. It had recently become popular among my classmates for some odd reason to pull the chair out from under someone as they were trying to sit down, therefore making them plummet to the ground and making a fool of them. I had decided to join in on this fad and instantly got reprimanded by my teacher due to a crying classmate and poor execution of the prank. I will never forget my response to the teacher though. As any good child brought up in the conservative household, I replied to this verbal attack with "The devil made me do it." For some reason, in my head, I believed that if I blamed it on the devil, this would make it, so I was not responsible for my actions. Nothing transpired after getting reprimanded by my teacher other than me having to apologize to my victim, and a fragment of my past is ingrained eternally into my memory.
Do you dare to dream?
Dreaming is painful, glorious, and an ecstasy for me. I love the sea of ideas that exist and are floating around out there. I love that from merely an intangible thought something tangible can be created when action is added to the equation. It can be a painful journey, though, reaching for the sun. The likelihood of getting burned is a factor that should not be ignored.
Masculinity and the art of being tenacious.
“A river cuts through rock, not because of its power, but because of its persistence.”
- James N. Watkins
There I was on yet another pilgrimage cruising down a freeway that offered very little other than a hypnotic amount of yellow and white lines stampeding towards my mechanical chariot. I had decided to go on a road trip to visit some friends randomly. I had many intentions for doing this, but the main one was just to give myself some time to clear my mind and process what the hell had just happened to my life. Needless to say, I had recently gotten punched pretty hard by life, and I was trying to figure out how to press on and recuperate from this.
Let the dirt settle. I dare you.
I needed this, so badly, there I was standing ankle deep in the Sacremento river taking a break from a road trip across the west coast of the U.S.A. Oddly my grime riddled body felt slightly cleaner as the sweat, and dirt was being washed from my feet. After breathing deeply and enjoying the sunset, I looked down at my feet in the water and something I have seen a thousand times profoundly hit me. I let the dirt settle in the water around my feet. Now, this may seem simple, and honestly, I think it is, but it struck an internal cord in me. You see, often, my life feels like I am always in a cloud of chaos and consumed by "murky" waters. I feel like I hardly ever know what the next step is in life or where I am headed. So there I was standing ankle deep not only in water but in a revelatory moment that I wanted to dive fully into.
The invisible bodybuilder. Part 3: Adaptation and Managing Expectations
This article will make more sense if you have read the first two of the series. If you have not done this yet, please take a moment to read Part 1(CLICK HERE) and Part 2(CLICK HERE) of the invisible body building series before you go any further!
The invisible bodybuilder. Part 2: Building Muscle
I am elated to share with you this second article on the invisible body builder series. "Building Muscle." In the previous article Part 1: Testing your limits(Click HERE if you have not read it yet), we explored testing your limits so you would discover your foundation and starting point before you began the journey of developing and building your invisible body. It is hard to run a race if it does not have a point of departure. So it is essential that you establish this before you move forward. That way we can start thinking about the next steps.
The invisible bodybuilder. Part 1: Testing your limits.
If you feel like it, take a moment and walk through a bookstore, scroll through some podcasts, or just check out the entrepreneurial community online a bit, and you will blatantly see that the self-help community appears to be running rampant. It is as though humankind has a desire to improve itself in life consistently. I find this expectation and culture a bit odd and attractive all at the same time. Self-help and self-improvement are ideas I enjoy and the people that come with them I appreciate as well.
Dear 20-year-old punk I wish someone had told me these 6 things.
Recently I was having an in-depth discussion with my colleagues about how I wish when I was in my late teens and early twenties someone would have sat me down and told me to the amount life can and will suck. I wish they had told me my heart would be broken, depression will most likely try to creep in, and money is something I will probably always be concerned about. Alas, I was not informed of the negatives in life.
Embracing the silence.
The most deafening noise this world seems it cannot handle is silence. I do have to admit though growing up and still to this day I have had a certain hatred for misplaced noise. I am more inclined to be introverted so silence may be more of my friend than others, but at the end of the day, I believe embracing silence is essential for all of humanity.
Masculinity and the art of self-belief.
The journey of life is intense, and as a man, if I did not believe in myself when necessary I am unsure of where my life would be. After years and years of self-doubt, I have finally started to make moves in my personal and professional life that is enthralling. Self-belief has seemed to be a major player in me taking significant steps in the directions needed in my life.
Masculinity and the subconscious mind.
I cannot speak for every man on the face of the earth, but I am fairly confident in saying that allot of men's insecurities, fears, and struggles come from one's inner world. The internal demons every man has to face show externally if he has taken the time to conquer them or not. I like to call it facing your shadows.
Step by step is what masculinity is all about.
I would categorize myself as an all or nothing kind of guy in a lot of arenas of life. This has been a blessing and a curse it seems. When I am done with a conversation sometimes, I just walk away disregarding social norm, or when I want to build something, I work with persistence until it is done.
Stereotypes and Misconceptions: Reclaiming the Virtues of Masculinity in the 21st Century
“The man who practices unselfishness, who is genuinely interested in the welfare of others, who feels it a privilege to have the power to do a fellow creature a kindness – even though polished manners and a gracious presence may be absent – will be elevating influence wherever he goes” - Orison Swett Marden
The struggle of life and masculinity.
I have always found conversations around what culture is vs. what it could/should be incredibly exciting. I am thankful for the ability to contribute to the conversation that Tim has started, (grateful if you’ve read this far!) and would greatly appreciate your thoughts or comments on the matter. Even if you disagree, please leave any questions or thoughts you have in the comments below! What kind of person do you want to be? Now onto the good stuff.
Masculinity and art of being present.
Pain is a thorn in my side. Nothing makes me want to run away from life more than being in emotional pain. Yet, I have and continue to learn that being present in life is the essence of healthy masculinity. As a man in my late twenties, I have been inundated with options that will pull me away or distract me from being present and aware in the life I have been blessed with living.
Masculinity and facing the unknown.
Yet again there I was with another massive construction project set before me that was beyond my depth of knowledge. Saying I felt a sense of incompetence would be an understatement. My insecurities and fears had fully matured and were ready to reproduce themselves like cancer in my blood. This was yet another challenge against my self-confidence and masculinity. Would I become overwhelmed and shut down? Or would I allow myself to put in the hard work and learn that which I did not know? Fortunately, this time around I permitted myself some grace and was able to break the process down into small tangible steps and efficiently work through and complete what was assigned to me. What I have been learning is that the unknown is very close to a toothless lion. Yes, there could be some potential physical danger but my fear is more so what controls me than the actual tangible threat. There is no bite, just roar.
Why I am sick and tired of men fucking shit up.
There I was sitting in another restaurant indulging myself with some overpriced frozen food warmed by another college kid in the kitchen of yet another big box franchise I despise. My employment had taken me up to the land of central Michigan. I was imprisoned with co-workers and more time to think than even an introvert knows how to handle. Something happened on this trip that I did not anticipate, though, nor did I know how to respond. My co-workers and I were sitting at a bartop table getting food at this cliche franchise before our night shift was initiated, and then something so subtle yet painfully real happened as I was innocently consuming another generic cheese covered burger.
Should men stay motivated?
Fear is knocking at the door of my heart. A pulse of insecurity shoots through my mind. The war is on. The battle is full tilt. I am fighting for my life, dreams, and ambitions. Will I put up a fight or go into the captivity of complacency, fear, and timidity?
Why I wish good friendship upon every man.
I would not be who I am today without the friends that surround me. Yes, my family has been important as well, but emotional richness, strength, and the real vitality friendship has brought me seems never to lack the attribute of surprise.